All I’ve lost, I have accumulated.
Tag: humor
“Blurtso checks the want ads”
I have only one rule when looking for a job.
Beware of enterprises that require any clothes at all.
“Bonny and Ditto share some quality time” (VI)
This water is delicious, said Bonny. So is this grass, said Pablo. I wonder where Ditto wandered off to, said Bonny. I worry about him, he’s so small and defenseless.
“Bonny and Ditto share some quality time” (V)
Today we will attempt to paint an object from multiple perspectives…
Excellent! said Bonny.
“Blurtso, Alex, and Harlan look at the clouds” (I)
It’s the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, said Alex.
It’s a fish taco, said Blurtso.
It’s an elephant, said Harlan.
“Blurtso and Alex look at the clouds” (I)
Hey, said Alex, would you look at that. What? said Blurtso. That cloud, said Alex, it looks like a human. Where? said Blurtso. There, said Alex, can’t you see? That’s its head, and those are its eyes, and that’s its television, and that’s its boat, and its ATV trailer, and its four-car garage. Of course, said Blurtso, and what’s the dark cloud next to it? That? said Alex. That’s a credit card bill.
“Blurtso gets a taste of Fenway”
Who’s your favorite Red Sox player? said Harlan. I don’t know, said Blurtso. How about you? said Harlan. I’m a Yankee fan, said Alex. Jeter? said Harlan. Of course, said Alex. We should go to a game, said Harlan. I can get three tickets for this afternoon, said Alex, but we’ll be in the sun in rightfield, so make sure to wear a cap.
Wow! said Blurtso. Look at that grass!
It’s the seventh-inning stretch, said Alex, where’s Blurtso?
“Harlan tells his tale”
You’re from Borneo? said Alex. Yes, said Harlan. What happened to your tusks? I had to sell them to pay for my flight. Wasn’t that painful? said Alex. Not as painful as keeping them. What do you mean? said Blurtso. My brothers were killed for their tusks. Oh, said Blurtso. Why did you come to Boston? said Alex. I’m a Redsox fan, said Harlan. Really? said Alex. Who’s your favorite player? My favorite player, said Harlan, is Big Papi. What’s it like in Borneo? said Blurtso. It’s beautiful, said Harlan, there’s more grass than you could ever eat. Do they speak English? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, in the north. Are you a Hindu? said Alex. Yes, said Harlan. What’s a Hindu? said Blurtso. Hinduism, said Alex, is a religion that believes elephants are sacred. Really? said Blurtso. What religion are you? said Harlan. I don’t know, said Blurtso. What religion thinks donkeys are sacred?
“Bonny and Pablo look at the stars” (II)
I wonder what the stars think, when they look up and see us?
“Blurtso and Harlan consider supper”
That was a wonderful supper, said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, it was. But it’s sad to think, said Blurtso, that everything we ate was once alive. Yes, said Harlan, that’s true. I suppose, said Blurtso, that everything that is ever alive is eventually eaten. Yes, said Harlan, it is. Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. I hope whoever eats me is as nice as you. Thank you, said Harlan, I feel the same way.