(to read all the different Blurtso episodes search
the archives by month or by web comic character)
Author: Alan Davison
Alan Davison is a professor of literature and language at Westminster College in Salt Lake City.
“Blurtso joins DonkeyMatch.com”
Hey, what’s this? A dating site! Maybe I should fill out a profile.
Name: Blurtso
Age: I don’t know, I haven’t cut myself in half to count the rings
Height: 6.2 hands (24.8 inches), but I’m taller standing up
Weight: I don’t know, my scale broke when I stepped on it
Self summary:
I like myself, so if you’re anything like me, you’ll like me too.
What I’m doing with my life:
Filling out a questionnaire.
I’m really good at:
Filling out questionnaires.
The first thing that others notice about me:
That I stepped on their foot.
Favorite books: The Idiot’s Guide to Animal Husbandry
Favorite music: You Can’t Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd (Roger Miller), Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for Seventy-Six Trombones
Favorite movies: Babbling Brook (ambient DVD), Ocean Waves (ambient DVD), Winter Snowfall (ambient DVD), Mister Ed
Favorite food: sustainably grown, organic, local, macrobiotic, paleolithic, ketogenic, activated-charcoal, Mediterranean, Adriatic, North-Atlantic, South-Atlantic, north-beach, south-beach, Laguna-Beach, free-range, super-detox, free-range, alfalfa-fed pumpkins
Things I can’t do without:
My hooves, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, and sometimes my tail
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
What that smell is
On a typical Friday night I am:
Wondering what night of the week it is
The most private thing I’m willing to admit is:
that I’m very private
I’m looking for:
- the wristwatch I lost
- a calorie-free pumpkin pie
- calorie-free whipped cream
- a roadmap that can be folded
- a restroom with stalls for donkeys
- sunglasses that don’t pinch my ears
You should message me if:
- you need an empty pie tin
- you found my wristwatch
- you lost your Wi-fi
- you have a pumpkin pie
- you think I’m funny
“Blurtso fulfills his potential”
The ability to fulfill your potential,
depends entirely on your definition of fulfillment.
“Ditto finds kindness”
“Blurtso recuperates”
Whew, said Blurtso, the vacation is almost over. Fortunately I’ve got time to recuperate before school starts.
“Happy New Year”
“We are better together”
“Blurtso looks at the snow” (XVIII)
There’s nothing better than a blanket and cup of cocoa…
watching next spring’s lakes and streams drop from the sky.
“Blurtso has a suggetion for the NFL”
Who’s playing in today’s game? said Blurtso. The Lions and Bears, said Harlan. When do the Donkeys play? said Blurtso. There isn’t a team called the Donkeys. Really? said Blurtso. How about the Elephants? No, said Harlan. Really? said Blurtso. Then why is the NFL so popular?
“Blurtso longs for Lizzy” (III)
I haven’t seen Lizzy since she was limping across the lawn. And that was two months ago. I wonder what happened to her? I wonder if she quit school, or graduated, or if she was only a tourist who was on campus for a week, and then went home? I suppose she’s out there somewhere. I wonder what she’s doing right now? I wonder if her hoof has healed? It’s hard enough to limp around when the weather is nice, but it’s worse in the snow. I wonder if she’s alone, or with someone special? Wherever she is, I hope she’s happy… and her hoof has healed.