Hey, what’s this? A dating site! Maybe I should fill out a profile.
Age: I don’t know, I haven’t cut myself in half to count the rings
Height: 6.2 hands (24.8 inches), but I’m taller standing up
Weight: I don’t know, my scale broke when I stepped on it
I like myself, so if you’re anything like me, you’ll like me too.
What I’m doing with my life:
Filling out a questionnaire.
I’m really good at:
Filling out questionnaires.
The first thing that others notice about me:
That I stepped on their foot.
Favorite books: The Idiot’s Guide to Animal Husbandry
Favorite music: You Can’t Roller Skate in a Buffalo Herd (Roger Miller), Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for Seventy-Six Trombones
Favorite movies: Babbling Brook (ambient DVD), Ocean Waves (ambient DVD), Winter Snowfall (ambient DVD), Mister Ed
Favorite food: sustainably grown, organic, local, macrobiotic, paleolithic, ketogenic, activated-charcoal, Mediterranean, Adriatic, North-Atlantic, South-Atlantic, north-beach, south-beach, Laguna-Beach, free-range, super-detox, free-range, alfalfa-fed pumpkins
Things I can’t do without:
My hooves, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, and sometimes my tail
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
What that smell is
On a typical Friday night I am:
Wondering what night of the week it is
The most private thing I’m willing to admit is:
that I’m very private
I’m looking for:
- the wristwatch I lost
- a calorie-free pumpkin pie
- calorie-free whipped cream
- a roadmap that can be folded
- a restroom with stalls for donkeys
- sunglasses that don’t pinch my ears
You should message me if:
- you need an empty pie tin
- you found my wristwatch
- you lost your Wi-fi
- you have a pumpkin pie
- you think I’m funny