Category: Philosophy

“Blurtso can’t get serious”

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Stay tuned for the News Hour and tonight’s roundtable debate, “Can black and white be considered colors, and if so, which one is more colorful?” moderated by Dr. Jonathan Wellborn Truington III, renowned taxidermist and Pulitzer prize-winning author of, Is White White or Is White the New Black?

I think humans, said Blurtso, take themselves too seriously.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (IX)

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Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Do you miss Borneo? Yes, said Harlan. What do you miss most? I miss it all, said Harlan, the beauty, the peace, the danger, the poverty. You miss the poverty? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. Wouldn’t it be nicer, said Blurtso, without the poverty? Not, said Harlan, if it just becomes a playground for the rich. Oh, said Blurtso. What do you think about international aid? I think it’s often misguided, said Harlan, and there’s nothing worse than convincing someone they need something that they didn’t need before.

“Blurtso considers his inner parakeet” (II)

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What’s your inner parakeet telling you? said Harlan. He’s telling me, said Blurtso, that there’s a half-eaten pumpkin pie in the fridge. What’s yours telling you? He’s telling me, said Harlan, that someone already finished the second half.

“Blurtso considers his inner parakeet” (I)

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The moon is full. They say a full moon brings out the animal in you. I wonder what animal is in me? A bull, or a goat, or a parakeet? I’ve never really thought about my inner parakeet. I wonder how long it’s been trying to get out? I wonder if it’s unhealthy to keep it locked up. The world might be a different place, if we all got in touch with our inner parakeets.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (VIII)

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Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Do you hear that? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan. Are you sure? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. How about that? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan. Really? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. Hmm, said Blurtso, I thought I heard something. You probably did, said Harlan, you have very good ears. Yes, said Blurtso, too good. Too good? said Harlan. Yes, said Blurtso, some things are better left unheard.

“Blurtso considers the importance of Valentine’s Day”

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Today is Valentine’s Day… I suppose a lot of couples are celebrating, and a lot of singles are not. Some have been reminded of how fortunate they are, and others how unfortunate. But most importantly of all, the stores have sold truckloads of candy.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (VII)

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Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Are you awake? Yes, said Harlan. What are you thinking about? said Blurtso. Differences, said Harlan. Differences? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, political, religious, and personal differences… like what one person thinks is fun and another does not, and what one thinks is proper and another does not, and what one thinks is necessary and another does not. Yes, said Blurtso, it’s amazing we ever get along. I suppose, said Harlan, that’s what love is for.