Category: Fame and ambition

“The journey of Ditto Lundif” (II)

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Did you stash the treasure? said Ditto. The treasure? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, the gold coins. I don’t have any gold coins, said Virginia. Splendid, said Ditto, I knew I could depend on you not to tell… now, if we could only get out of this refrigeration car before we freeze… did you bring the nail polish remover? Nail polish remover? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, to dissolve the teeth on the tumblers in the lock… hey… what was that?! What was what? said Virginia. That noise, said Ditto, it sounded like a wild boar gnawing on a human bone. I think it’s a squirrel on the roof, said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, a whole family of wild boars launching themselves madly at the train… it’s a good thing I worked with wild boars in the circus, and can reproduce the high-pitched squeal that halts them in their tracks… quick, the nail polish remover…

“Blurtso looks at the snow” (XXV)

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I wonder why it seems that everyone I meet is busier than me? I go to school, keep up with my classes, give my time to charitable causes, and help friends in need… but I still have time to sit and watch the snow. Maybe donkey years are longer than human years, and a donkey’s day is seven times longer than a human day.

“Blurtso looks at the snow” (XXIV)

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I wonder if I should be anxious about the passage of time? I suppose every second that passes carries me closer to death, and I should try to fill every second with as much life as possible. But you can only fill what was empty to begin with, so first, I should try to make every second as empty as possible.

“Blurtso jumps” (V)

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Hmm, thought Blurtso, that was quite a week. First I was no one, then I set a record, then I was famous, then I was banned, then I was no one… all because I slid down a hill on a couple of sticks. I sure am glad insanity is fleeting.

“Blurtso jumps” (IV)

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Where are the reporters, said Alex, and the paparazzi? They’re gone, said Blurtso. Why? said Alex. Because the Olympic Committee disqualified my jump. Why? said Alex. Because I jumped on four hooves, said Blurtso, and they said the binding attaching my front hooves to the skis made it easier to keep my tips up, which gave me greater lift, and resulted in the world record. And I was also disqualified because I’m a donkey. Well, said Alex, don’t feel too bad, the Olympic Committee didn’t allow women to ski jump in the Olympics until 2014. What?! said Blurtso. Yes, said Alex. That’s shameless discrimination, said Blurtso, do you think they’ll ever let donkeys jump? No, said Alex, but if they do, the story of your record will be a great inspiration. Really? said Blurtso. Sure, said Alex, you’re a pioneer. Wow, said Blurtso, like Babe the blue ox!

“Blurtso jumps” (III)

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Blurtso? said Alex. Hmm? said Blurtso. Why are you hiding? Because of the people, said Blurtso. The TV trucks? said Alex, and reporters and paparazzi and helicopters? Yes, said Blurtso. Why are they here? said Alex. I competed in my first meet today, said Blurtso. And? said Alex. And I jumped 276 meters, said Blurtso. So? said Alex. It was a new world record. Oh, said Alex.

“Blurtso jumps” (I)

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Harlan said you went skiing, said Alex. Yes, said Blurtso, and the strangest thing happened. What? said Alex. I was invited to join the ski team. Really? said Alex. In what event? In the ski jump, said Blurtso. Today is my first practice.

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You want me to do what?