Tag: problems with

March 29, 2017

“Ditto goes to school” (XVIII)

It’s your turn, said Virginia, I’m sure you’ll do fine.

Alright big-nose, said the schoolmarm, you’ve got sixty seconds.
Read as many words as fast as you can… Begin!

DIBELS Nonsense Word Fluency

bol   kiv     ul   jac     lel
fij     kug   jat oj      deg
wav pek yos   mub fiv
ec     faj    vog kif     puk

“bol?” said Ditto, What’s a “bol?” Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. But “bol” isn’t a word. Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. But it doesn’t make sense. Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. But there aren’t any words. Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. This isn’t English, said Ditto. Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. Can I use a Rosetta stone? Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. Or the Pentagon’s decoding program? Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. Or maybe a soothsayer? Just read the word, said the schoolmarm. Or a deck of Tarot cards? Stop! said the schoolmarm. Your time’s up! You scored one out of forty, you’re a red light. A red light? said Ditto. Yes, said the schoolmarm, an abject failure, you’ll start intervention in the morning.

March 28, 2017

“Ditto goes to school” (XVII)

Will they kick me out of school, said Ditto, if I fail the Dibels test? No, said Virginia, they’ll put you in an intervention class an hour a day until you pass the test. What if I never pass? Then you’ll be in intervention forever, said Virginia. Isn’t there any way, said Ditto, I can get kicked out of school?

March 22, 2017

“Blurtso finds a paperclip” (II)

Hmmm, thought Blurtso, another paperclip. You go months and months without seeing one, then you see them everywhere you turn. I wonder if they’re being discarded as the world goes paperless? And soon they will only be a symbol, an icon for attachments, virtual clips attaching virtual expressions in a virtual world… like so many other forms of attachment.

February 28, 2017

“Blurtso can’t get serious”

Stay tuned for the News Hour and tonight’s roundtable debate, “Can black and white be considered colors, and if so, which one is more colorful?” moderated by Dr. Jonathan Wellborn Truington III, renowned taxidermist and Pulitzer prize-winning author of, Is White White or Is White the New Black?

I think humans, said Blurtso, take themselves too seriously.

February 21, 2017

“Ditto goes to school” (XIII)

Your assignment, said the teacher, is to draw a house.

Excellent, Virginia!

No, no, no big-nose! I said a house! Just a house!

February 9, 2017

“Ditto goes to school” (IX)

Your assignment, said the teacher, is to draw an apple.

Excellent, Virginia!

No, no, no big-nose! I said an apple! Just an apple!

December 21, 2016

“Blurtso wakes before dawn”

It’s unsettling to get up before dawn, when it’s still dark and the barn and the yard and the neighborhood are quiet. It’s like I’m the only living thing on the planet. It’s hard to believe others are waking to the same darkness, seeking refuge in artificial light, bathing and dressing… getting ready for the day they trust will arrive.

November 30, 2016

“Blurtso sees an ant” (V)

The more you look at ants, the more they look like water… flowing here, flowing there, encountering an obstruction, flowing around it, flowing over it, or carrying it with them as they flow along. And just like too much of anything, if there are too many, they carry away everything in sight, until there is nothing left for others, and nothing left for themselves.