I don’t think the teacher likes you, said Virginia, maybe you should bring her an apple.
Tag: drawings
“Ditto goes to school” (XIII)
Your assignment, said the teacher, is to draw a house.
Excellent, Virginia!
No, no, no big-nose! I said a house! Just a house!
“Blurtso hears a whisper” (VIII)
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Do you hear that? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan. Are you sure? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. How about that? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan. Really? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. Hmm, said Blurtso, I thought I heard something. You probably did, said Harlan, you have very good ears. Yes, said Blurtso, too good. Too good? said Harlan. Yes, said Blurtso, some things are better left unheard.
“Blurtso looks at the snow” (XIII)
Harlan should be home soon. His last class ended thirty minutes ago. He’ll probably stop at the COOP for a cappuccino, then make his way up the street and across the bridge, and I won’t even hear him coming, until his trunk fumbles for the keys to the door.
“Blurtso enjoys a snowman”
Hmm, thought Blurtso, would you look at that…
“Blurtso experiences a moment”
One way to experience a moment completely,
is to try as hard as you can
to experience a moment completely,
until you completely experience
complete frustration.
“Blurtso acts involuntarily”
If I can’t voluntarily stop myself
from acting voluntarily,
I’m not acting voluntarily.
“Blurtso considers the importance of Valentine’s Day”
Today is Valentine’s Day… I suppose a lot of couples are celebrating, and a lot of singles are not. Some have been reminded of how fortunate they are, and others how unfortunate. But most importantly of all, the stores have sold truckloads of candy.
“Ditto goes to school” (XII)
It’s a blustery, snow-swept day at Fenway… here’s the pitch, Jeter hits a scorcher to second… Dustin “Ditto” Pedroia glides into position… scoops… wheels… throws to first…
“Ditto goes to school” (XI)
Our stickball team played for the championship last year, said Ditto. Really? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, I was the starting rightfielder. Did Dustin Pedroia ever play rightfield? said Virginia. He must have when he was young, said Ditto, everyone begins in rightfield. Really? said Virginia. I thought the rightfielder was the worst player on the team. No, no, no, said Ditto, I led the league in on-base percent. Really? said Virginia. What was your batting average? I didn’t get any hits, said Ditto, but I had 86 walks and one out. Like Eddie Gaedel, said Virginia. Eddie Gaedel? said Ditto. Yes, said Virginia, the shortest man to ever play in the majors. He was three feet seven inches tall, came to bat once in 1951, and walked on four pitches. His lifetime on-base percentage is 1.000. Really? said Ditto. Three feet seven is the shortest ever? I think so, said Virginia. Hmm, said Ditto, I wonder if Dustin Pedroia lies about his height?