Will they kick me out of school, said Ditto, if I fail the Dibels test? No, said Virginia, they’ll put you in an intervention class an hour a day until you pass the test. What if I never pass? Then you’ll be in intervention forever, said Virginia. Isn’t there any way, said Ditto, I can get kicked out of school?
The Dibels tests are tomorrow, said Virginia. Dibels? said Ditto. Yes, said Viriginia, the test that decides if you will be a failure or a success. A failure, said Ditto, in first grade? Yes, said Virginia. That’s crazy, said Ditto, I’m too young to die.
Spring is here, said Virginia, only two months before summer vacation. Summer vacation? said Ditto. Yes, said Virginia. What’s summer vacation? That’s when we get three months off before coming back to school. Coming back? said Ditto. Yes, said Virginia, in the fall. For how long? said Ditto. Until the next summer, said Virginia. And then? said Ditto. Until the summer after that, said Virginia. How long do we have to keep coming? Forever, said Virginia. Forever? said Ditto. Yes, said Virginia, until we grow old.
Hmm, thought Blurtso, would you look at that… a duck in the rain. I wonder what he’s doing? It’s really coming down. You’d think he’d look for shelter, if he had any sense.
Hey, a dating site! Maybe I should fill out a profile.
Name: Blurtso
Age: I don’t know, I’ve never cut myself in half to count the rings
Height: I’m not as tall as I think I am
Weight: That’s not polite
Self summary: I’m a sphere whose center is everywhere and circumference is nowhere
I’m good at: Filling out profile questionnaires
The first thing that others notice about me: That I accidentally stepped on their foot
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, food:
books: Remembrance of Pies Past (Marcel Proust), A clean, well-lighted bakery (Hemingway), Where is Ralph Waldo? (Emerson), What’s that in the Attic? (Emily Dickenson), Donkey Hotey (Cervantes), The Idiot’s Guide to Animal Husbandry
music: You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd (Roger Miller), L’apres midi d’une Trombone (Debussy), Bach’s concerto for trombone and cymbal in C flat minor seventh, Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for Seventy-Six Trombones
movies and shows: Babbling Brook (ambient dvd), Ocean Waves (ambient dvd), Mountain Majesty (ambient dvd), The Jerry Remy Postgame Show
food: organic, sustainably grown, local, free-range, alfalfa-fed pumpkins (from Pablo’s garden)
I spend a lot of time thinking about:
Thermonuclear physics, string theory, the event
horizon, if Pluto is a planet, how many angels can fit on the head of a donkey, what that smell is
On a typical Friday night I am:
Wondering what night of the week it is
You should message me if: You need an empty pie tin, you found my wristwatch, you lost your Wi-Fi connection, you have an extra pumpkin pie
Profile Photo:
What comes down… sometimes stays down.
Hmmm, thought Blurtso, another paperclip. You go months and months without seeing one, then you see them everywhere you turn. I wonder if they’re being discarded as the world goes paperless? And soon they will only be a symbol, an icon for attachments, virtual clips attaching virtual expressions in a virtual world… like so many other forms of attachment.
Storm’s a brewin’… looks like a nor’easter. I’ve always wanted to say that, “looks like a nor’easter.” Every time a breeze blows, someone always says, “looks like a nor’easter.” This is a great place to watch the weather. Maybe I could get a job on TV? I could start the show with, “looks like a nor’easter,” and then I could say, “if you don’t like the weather, wait a minute.” Wouldn’t that be something! To get paid for saying, “looks like a nor’easter.”
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Do you think we’ll ever see our snakes again? I don’t know, said Harlan. I wonder, said Blurtso, what else we’ll never see again? It’s impossible to tell, said Harlan, what will be gone in the morning. Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. I’ll do what I can to be here in the morning.
I know where I’m going
Johnny I hardly knew ye