Category: Haste and leisure

“Ditto goes to school” (VII)

blurtso3925

“Virginia,” said the teacher, “How much is three plus three?” “Three plus three,” said Virginia, “is six.” “Excellent,” said the teacher.

blurtso3946

O.k., said the teacher, let’s have “big-nose” do the next one… Tell us, “big-nose”, how many arc seconds per century is the perihelion precession of Mercury relative to the earth, and what scientist provided the theory to explain this precession?

blurtso3944

When I heard the learnèd school-marm;
when the proofs and figures were ranged in columns;
when I was shown the charts and diagrams,
to add, divide, and measure the heavens;
when I, sitting, heard the school-marm in the school house,
how soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
till rising and gliding out, I wandered off by myself,
into the mystical cool night-air, and from time to time,
looked up in perfect silence at the stars.

(altered from Walt Whitman)

“Blurtso thinks about the future”

blurtso1901

I wonder what I should be when I grow up? I can’t be a student forever. Unless I go to grad school. But grad students look terrible. They have rings under their eyes like they’ve been living in a cave. I guess they’re worried about their grades. And when they graduate they worry about getting a job. And when they get a job they worry about getting promoted. And when they get promoted they worry about retirement. All because they can’t eat grass.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (IV)

blurtso3104

Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Why are elephants afraid of mice? We’re not afraid, said Harlan, we just don’t like to step on them. Oh, said Blurtso, that’s understandable. There’s nothing that breaks an elephant’s heart, said Harlan, like stepping on a mouse. Elephants are very sensitive, said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan.

“Blurtso looks at the snow” (X)

blurtso1906

The cars are actually trying to drive in this snow. They’ve got their lights on and their wiper-blades slapping. It’s eerie to drive in snow like this. Especially if your radio is broken and all you can hear is the thump of the blades. I wonder if it’s snowing this hard on campus? I wonder if the students are looking out the windows? A good snowfall can really put things in perspective.

“Blurtso looks at the snow” (IX)

blurtso964

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much snow. There’s no use trying to go anywhere. Or trying to do anything. It’s like a day that fell through the calendar, a day without a number. Perfect for a book and a blanket. And another cup of cocoa.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (III)

blurtso3104

Harlan? said Blurtso. What? said Harlan. I’ve been thinking, said Blurtso, that we shouldn’t get a mongoose. Why not? said Harlan. Because, said Blurtso, it might make the snakes angry. You may be right, said Harlan. And the last thing we want, said Blurtso, is a barn full of angry snakes. That’s for sure, said Harlan. Right now, said Blurtso, they’re not bothering anyone, and they scarcely make a sound and always keep out of sight. That’s true, said Harlan. I’ve never even seen one, said Blurtso. Neither have I, said Harlan. I wonder if it’s sad to be a snake, said Blurtso, always keeping quiet and staying out of sight? I wouldn’t know, said Harlan, I’m never out of sight. Yes that’s true, said Blurtso, is it hard to be so noticeable? Sometimes, said Harlan. Do you ever wish you were a snake? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan. I guess snakes have it pretty good, said Blurtso, never being noticed. Yes, said Harlan, I suppose they do. Except, said Blurtso, that everyone hates them. Yes, said Harlan, there is that.

“Blurtso meets the academic counselor”

blurtso927

Hello, said Blurtso. Hello, said the counselor, have you decided on a major? No, said Blurtso. Well, said the counselor, maybe I can help. What do you like? I like everything, said Blurtso. Everything? said the counselor. You can’t major in everything. Why not? said Blurtso. Because you have to specialize. Why? said Blurtso. So you can graduate. Why do I have to graduate? So you can get a job. A job? said Blurtso. Yes, said the counselor, in your specialization. Hmm, said Blurtso. Can I avoid all that… if I major in logic?

“Blurtso looks at the snow” (VII)

blurtso1906

The snow sure looks soft. I’ll bet I could leap from this treehouse and the snow would break my fall. I’ll bet I could do a back flip and land without a sound. But no one would believe it… if I didn’t make a sound. People don’t put much stock in silence.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (II)

blurtso3104

Harlan? said Blurtso. What? said Harlan. Did you hear that? Yes, said Harlan. Do you think our snake is back? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. What do you think he’s doing? said Blurtso. I don’t know, said Harlan. Why do you suppose, said Blurtso, that people hate snakes? I don’t know, said Harlan. Have you ever been bitten by one? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan. I suppose they don’t all bite, said Blurtso. No, said Harlan, I suppose they don’t. What animals do snakes dislike? said Blurtso. I’ve heard, said Harlan, that snakes dislike mongeese. Have you ever seen a mongoose? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. What do they look like? said Blurtso. They’re like ferrets, said Harlan, only bigger and with mean-looking noses. Do you think we should get one? said Blurtso. I’m not sure, said Harlan, we might be happier with snakes.