Baseball? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, the Red Sox begin spring training in three weeks. I love the Red Sox! said Virginia. Who’s your favorite player? said Ditto. My favorite player, said Virginia, is Dustin Pedroia.
Category: Boston and Cambridge and Concord
“Ditto goes to school” (IX)
Your assignment, said the teacher, is to draw an apple.
Excellent, Virginia!
No, no, no big-nose! I said an apple! Just an apple!
“Blurtso considers teaching”
I’ll teach you what I know, and by teaching,
learn what you know.
“Blurtso goes for a swim”
Wow, thought Blurtso, that first lap is a doozy.
“Blurtso hears a whisper” (V)
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Are you awake? Yes, said Harlan. What are you thinking of? Einstein’s theory of time, said Harlan. What? said Blurtso. You know, said Harlan, the discovery that time passes more slowly the faster you move. Is that true? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. So I would live longer, said Blurtso, if I moved more quickly? Yes, said Harlan. And if I ran in my sleep, said Blurtso, I would get more sleep?
“Ditto goes to school” (VIII)
It’s time to practice reading, said the teacher. Virginia, will you begin on the first page? “Here is Spot,” read Virginia, “See Spot run. See Spot play. Funny, funny Spot.” Excellent! said the teacher.
O.k. “big-nose”, said the teacher, continue from page two hundred thirty two. “Twas brillig,” read Ditto, “and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe…”
“Ditto goes to school” (VII)
“Virginia,” said the teacher, “How much is three plus three?” “Three plus three,” said Virginia, “is six.” “Excellent,” said the teacher.
O.k., said the teacher, let’s have “big-nose” do the next one… Tell us, “big-nose”, how many arc seconds per century is the perihelion precession of Mercury relative to the earth, and what scientist provided the theory to explain this precession?
When I heard the learnèd school-marm;
when the proofs and figures were ranged in columns;
when I was shown the charts and diagrams,
to add, divide, and measure the heavens;
when I, sitting, heard the school-marm in the school house,
how soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
till rising and gliding out, I wandered off by myself,
into the mystical cool night-air, and from time to time,
looked up in perfect silence at the stars.
(altered from Walt Whitman)
“Blurtso thinks about the future”
I wonder what I should be when I grow up? I can’t be a student forever. Unless I go to grad school. But grad students look terrible. They have rings under their eyes like they’ve been living in a cave. I guess they’re worried about their grades. And when they graduate they worry about getting a job. And when they get a job they worry about getting promoted. And when they get promoted they worry about retirement. All because they can’t eat grass.
“Donkey Lake” brings down the house
“Blurtso looks at the snow” (X)
The cars are actually trying to drive in this snow. They’ve got their lights on and their wiper-blades slapping. It’s eerie to drive in snow like this. Especially if your radio is broken and all you can hear is the thump of the blades. I wonder if it’s snowing this hard on campus? I wonder if the students are looking out the windows? A good snowfall can really put things in perspective.