Tag: alex

“Blurtso stands in the snow” (IV)

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What have you been doing lately? said Alex. I’ve been standing in the snow, said Blurtso. Standing in the snow? said Alex. Yes, said Blurtso, standing in the snow.

“Blurtso considers the ideal shape”

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Do you think my ears are too big? said Blurtso. Too big for what? said Alex. You know, said Blurtso, too big, too big for the ideal shape of a donkey. I’m not sure, said Alex, what’s the ideal shape of a donkey? You know, said Blurtso, the shape you always see in the magazines, on the billboards, and in the beer commercials. Beer commercials? said Alex. Are those donkeys ideal donkeys? They must be, said Blurtso, or the advertisers wouldn’t use them. How do you know the advertisers aren’t using grotesque donkeys to get our attention? Grotesque donkeys? said Blurtso. I never thought of that… but if those shapes aren’t ideal, then what is? I don’t know, said Alex, maybe your shape is ideal. My shape? said Blurtso. Sure, said Alex, why not? Well, said Blurtso, it is a fine shape, and it has served me well… I guess it must be very sad… to be a grotesque, small-eared donkey, paraded around so the world can see.

“Blurtso plays a quick round of golf”

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Would you look at that… I’m already on the 18th green.

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I heard you went golfing, said Alex. Yes, said Blurtso. What did you shoot? I shot a two. A two? said Alex. Yes, said Blurtso. That’s remarkable, said Alex. Is it? said Blurtso.

“Blurtso misses the revolution”

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What did you think of today’s lecture, said Alex, about the seeds of revolution being inherent in the Capitalistic system? I’m not sure, said Blurtso, I must have missed that part. I was looking at a whippoorwill outside the window.

“Blurtso can’t eat the same pumpkin pie twice”

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Heraclitus, said the professor, was a Greek who wrote, “You can’t step into the same river twice…” Why would anyone step into a river? said Blurtso, that’s what bridges are for. You can’t step into the same river, continued the professor, because the river is always changing, and when you step in a second time, it’s a different river, and you are changing too, and are not the same as when you first stepped in. In fact, repetition is a myth, it’s impossible… I’m sorry, said Blurtso, I’m afraid I wasn’t listening, could you repeat that?

“Weohryant University” (V)

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What’s that? said Alex. It’s a reading list Bonny prepared for Harlan and my university. What’s on it? said Alex. Lots of things I’ve never heard of, said Blurtso. Read it to me, said Alex. It’s very long, said Blurtso. That’s all right, said Alex. O.k., said Blurtso, it says:

First Year – Fall Semester:
The Upanishads, The Bhagavad Gita, The Ramayana, The Mahabharata, The Epic of Gilgamesh, The Bible, The Tao Te Ching, The Writings of Confucius, The Emerald Tablet, The Quran

First Year – Spring Semester:
The Odyssey, “Oedipus Rex,” “Iphigenia at Aulis,” Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton, Early Greek Philosophy, The Metamorphoses of Ovid, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, 1001 Nights

Second Year – Fall Semester:
The Poetry of Yongshu, The Poetry of Du Fu, The Poetry of Li Qingzhao, The Divine Comedy, The Decameron, The Poetry of Petrarch, Machiavelli’s The Prince, Njal’s Saga, The Canterbury Tales, The Masnavi of Rumi

Second Year – Spring Semester:
“King Lear,” “Hamlet,” “Macbeth,” “Romeo and Juliet,” The Poetry of Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, Don Quixote, Tartuffe, Gardner’s Art Through the Ages, The Biography of Benjamin Franklin, The Farmer’s Almanac, Jean Jacques Rousseau’s Discourse on the Origin of Inequality

Third Year – Fall Semester:
Selected Poems of Wordsworth, Shelley and Keats, Vanity Fair, Pride and Prejudice, The Poetry and Prose of Edgar Allan Poe, Les Fleurs du Mal, The Origin of Species, Crime and Punishment, Notes from the Underground, Huckleberry Finn, Leaves of Grass, Goethe’s Faust

Third Year – Spring Semester:
Les Misérables, Moby Dick, Walden, The Doll’s House, The Poetry and Prose of José Martí, Selected Poems of Rubén Darío, Selected Poetry of William Butler Yeats, Poemas Humanos of César Vallejo, The Poems of T.S. Elliot, “The Penal Colony” by Franz Kafka

Fourth Year – Fall Semester:
Einstein’s Universe by Nigel Calder, Mein Kampf, The Stories of Jorge Luis Borges, The Heart of Darkness, Waiting for Godot, No Exit, 1984, Animal Farm, Selected Poems of Pablo Neruda, Man, Woman, and Nature by Alan Watts

Fourth Year – Spring Semester:
The Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast, Giovanni’s Room, Slaughterhouse Five, The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Things Fall Apart, The Adventures of Captain Harvey, Blurtseau Lundif – Corsaire Extraordinaire, The Poems of Blurtso Lundif.

That’s a good list, said Alex, but I would add one more. What’s that? said Blurtso. The Baseball Encyclopedia, said Alex.