Baseball? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, the Red Sox begin spring training in three weeks. I love the Red Sox! said Virginia. Who’s your favorite player? said Ditto. My favorite player, said Virginia, is Dustin Pedroia.
Category: Virginia the girl
“Ditto goes to school” (IX)
Your assignment, said the teacher, is to draw an apple.
Excellent, Virginia!
No, no, no big-nose! I said an apple! Just an apple!
“Ditto goes to school” (VIII)
It’s time to practice reading, said the teacher. Virginia, will you begin on the first page? “Here is Spot,” read Virginia, “See Spot run. See Spot play. Funny, funny Spot.” Excellent! said the teacher.
O.k. “big-nose”, said the teacher, continue from page two hundred thirty two. “Twas brillig,” read Ditto, “and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe…”
“Ditto goes to school” (VII)
“Virginia,” said the teacher, “How much is three plus three?” “Three plus three,” said Virginia, “is six.” “Excellent,” said the teacher.
O.k., said the teacher, let’s have “big-nose” do the next one… Tell us, “big-nose”, how many arc seconds per century is the perihelion precession of Mercury relative to the earth, and what scientist provided the theory to explain this precession?
When I heard the learnèd school-marm;
when the proofs and figures were ranged in columns;
when I was shown the charts and diagrams,
to add, divide, and measure the heavens;
when I, sitting, heard the school-marm in the school house,
how soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
till rising and gliding out, I wandered off by myself,
into the mystical cool night-air, and from time to time,
looked up in perfect silence at the stars.
(altered from Walt Whitman)
“Ditto goes to school” (IV)
Hello, said Virginia, my name is Virginia.
Hello, said Ditto. Would you like a hay sandwich?
“Blurtso announces the opening of his store”
My store is open! said Blurtso.
I don’t know, said Pablo, you may need more flags.
“Ditto finds a pencil” (III)
Where’s your pencil? said Virginia. I left it at home, said Ditto. What about the museum, said Virginia, and the tourists and audio phones? I’m not going to do it, said Ditto. Why? said Virginia. I like Concord the way it is. Yes, said Virginia, the library, the cemetery, the inn, and the friendly people at the Main Street Café—it’s a nice town, and more traffic might spoil it. Yes, said Ditto, and encourage someone to put a stop light on Main Street.
“Ditto finds a pencil” (II)
Well, said Virginia, no one in Concord is missing a pencil. No, said Ditto, they looked at us like we were crazy. I guess people don’t use pencils anymore, said Virginia. No, said Ditto, I guess not. What’ll we do with it? said Virginia. If we save it, said Ditto, it might become an antique. An antique? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, like putt putt boats, cassette tapes, and common courtesy. And people would travel for miles to see it? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, and we’d keep it behind glass, and rent headphones to explain its history. So the tourists would know what to think? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, and realize how important it is, and not complain about the admission fee. Visitors would come to Concord from all over the world! said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, they would.
“Ditto finds a pencil” (I)
What is it? said Virginia. It’s a pencil, said Ditto. A pencil? Yes, said Ditto. Who does it belong to? said Virginia. I don’t know, said Ditto, we’d better take it to town and ask around.
“Frank visits Concord” (V)
Crows are messengers of the dead? said Ditto. Yes, said Virginia, that’s what my uncle said. Dead humans or dead donkeys? said Ditto. Dead humans, said Virginia. Hmm, said Ditto, I wonder which animals are messengers of dead crows?