O.k., said the boss, “Pablo the Gardener,” what experience do you have? Experience? said Pablo. Yes, said the boss. I’m a gardener, said Pablo. O.k., said the boss, but what can you do? I can make things grow, said Pablo. Very well, said the boss, but can you do anything important? Important? said Pablo. What is more important than making things grow?
Welcome, said Harlan, to the “Class of 2020” first-year orientation at Weohryant University. It is my pleasure to introduce the Weohryant faculty who will be facilitating your education for the next four years. To my left is the co-founder of our college, Dr. Blurtso Lundif. Mr. Lundif will be teaching What-101 every Monday in his barn from noon until dusk. To my right is Ms. Bonny Bray. Bonny will be your guide through the “Masterpieces of World Literature” reading list. She will be available on Thursdays during the day, and will serve home-made pumpkin pie that same evening here in the main house. To Bonny’s right is Pablo the Gardener. Mr. Gardener will be teaching When-101 on Tuesdays from sunrise until noon at the Clippety Clop Animal Refuge and Co-Op. And I, said Harlan, am Dr. Harlan de Borneo. I will be guiding your journey through Where-101 every Wednesday on the Boston Common from sometime after breakfast until sometime before lunch. Finally, my colleagues and I would like to wish you all a hearty welcome to the maiden voyage of Weohryant University, and congratulate you for being selected as the inaugural class of this revered institution.
I make you think of me, therefore I am.
A university? said Pablo. Yes, said Blurtso, and we need another professor. What would I teach? said Pablo. You’d teach Where-101. Is that, said Pablo, a class about gardening? It can be, said Blurtso, as long as the questions begin with “where.” How many days does it meet? said Pablo. Once a week, said Blurtso. O.k., said Pablo. And what about me? said Bonny. What would you like to teach? said Blurtso. I don’t know, said Bonny, maybe a reading class. Reading? said Blurtso. Yes, said Bonny, what are your students going to read? Nothing, said Blurtso, we’re just going to talk. If your students read something, said Bonny, the discussions will be more interesting. You may be right, said Blurtso, what do you suggest? I’ll prepare a list of great books, said Bonny, and get them from the library. Great! said Blurtso.
“Drifting through time and space on the face of a little blue ball falling around the sun—one in a million, billion, twinkling lights shining out for no one. Here we are, sparks in the darkness, speaking of our love, burning down forever and forever. And though we are as nothing to the stars that shine above, you are my universe, you are my love. Here we are, like children forever, taking care of one another, while the world goes on without us, all around us.” – James Taylor
Curse these clumsy hoofs! said Blurtso. You mean “hooves,” said Pablo. “Hooves?” said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo. Hmmm, said Blurtso, you may be right. Let me give it a try… “Curse these clumsy hooves!” I don’t know, said Blurtso, I think “hoofs” sounds more clumsy than “hooves.” You mean “clumsier,” said Pablo. “Clumsier?” said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo. I don’t know, said Blurtso, I think “more clumsy” sounds more clumsy than “clumsier.”
It’s hard to tell, said Blurtso, which one is the original.
This water is delicious, said Bonny. So is this grass, said Pablo. I wonder where Ditto wandered off to, said Bonny. I worry about him, he’s so small and defenseless.
I wonder what the stars think, when they look up and see us?
Ditto is very talented, said Blurtso. I know, said Pablo, Bonny is always teaching him something useful and profound.
