We had over three thousand applications to our university, said Harlan. Three thousand! said Blurtso, what will be the criteria for getting in? I think we should choose the first six, said Harlan. “First come, first serve,” said Blurtso, is an excellent criterion.
Tag: harvard university
“Weohryant University” (VI)
“Weohryant University” (V)
What’s that? said Alex. It’s a reading list Bonny prepared for Harlan and my university. What’s on it? said Alex. Lots of things I’ve never heard of, said Blurtso. Read it to me, said Alex. It’s very long, said Blurtso. That’s all right, said Alex. O.k., said Blurtso, it says:
First Year – Fall Semester:
The Upanishads, The Bhagavad Gita, The Ramayana, The Mahabharata, The Epic of Gilgamesh, The Bible, The Tao Te Ching, The Writings of Confucius, The Emerald Tablet, The Quran
First Year – Spring Semester:
The Odyssey, “Oedipus Rex,” “Iphigenia at Aulis,” Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton, Early Greek Philosophy, The Metamorphoses of Ovid, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, 1001 Nights
Second Year – Fall Semester:
The Poetry of Yongshu, The Poetry of Du Fu, The Poetry of Li Qingzhao, The Divine Comedy, The Decameron, The Poetry of Petrarch, Machiavelli’s The Prince, Njal’s Saga, The Canterbury Tales, The Masnavi of Rumi
Second Year – Spring Semester:
“King Lear,” “Hamlet,” “Macbeth,” “Romeo and Juliet,” The Poetry of Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, Don Quixote, Tartuffe, Gardner’s Art Through the Ages, The Biography of Benjamin Franklin, The Farmer’s Almanac, Jean Jacques Rousseau’s Discourse on the Origin of Inequality
Third Year – Fall Semester:
Selected Poems of Wordsworth, Shelley and Keats, Vanity Fair, Pride and Prejudice, The Poetry and Prose of Edgar Allan Poe, Les Fleurs du Mal, The Origin of Species, Crime and Punishment, Notes from the Underground, Huckleberry Finn, Leaves of Grass, Goethe’s Faust
Third Year – Spring Semester:
Les Misérables, Moby Dick, Walden, The Doll’s House, The Poetry and Prose of José Martí, Selected Poems of Rubén Darío, Selected Poetry of William Butler Yeats, Poemas Humanos of César Vallejo, The Poems of T.S. Elliot, “The Penal Colony” by Franz Kafka
Fourth Year – Fall Semester:
Einstein’s Universe by Nigel Calder, Mein Kampf, The Stories of Jorge Luis Borges, The Heart of Darkness, Waiting for Godot, No Exit, 1984, Animal Farm, Selected Poems of Pablo Neruda, Man, Woman, and Nature by Alan Watts
Fourth Year – Spring Semester:
The Short Stories of Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast, Giovanni’s Room, Slaughterhouse Five, The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Things Fall Apart, The Adventures of Captain Harvey, Blurtseau Lundif – Corsaire Extraordinaire, The Poems of Blurtso Lundif.
That’s a good list, said Alex, but I would add one more. What’s that? said Blurtso. The Baseball Encyclopedia, said Alex.
“Weohryant University” (IV)
A university? said Pablo. Yes, said Blurtso, and we need another professor. What would I teach? said Pablo. You’d teach Where-101. Is that, said Pablo, a class about gardening? It can be, said Blurtso, as long as the questions begin with “where.” How many days does it meet? said Pablo. Once a week, said Blurtso. O.k., said Pablo. And what about me? said Bonny. What would you like to teach? said Blurtso. I don’t know, said Bonny, maybe a reading class. Reading? said Blurtso. Yes, said Bonny, what are your students going to read? Nothing, said Blurtso, we’re just going to talk. If your students read something, said Bonny, the discussions will be more interesting. You may be right, said Blurtso, what do you suggest? I’ll prepare a list of great books, said Bonny, and get them from the library. Great! said Blurtso.
“Weohryant University” (III)
What about the curriculum? said Blurtso. I think we should offer one class per year in each of the six subjects. I agree, said Blurtso, in the fall we can offer What-101, Where-101, and Who-101, and in the spring we can offer How-101, When-101, and Why-101. How many classes do you want to teach? said Harlan. One per semester, said Blurtso. Me too, said Harlan. Maybe we could get Pablo to teach a class, said Blurtso. That would be perfect, said Harlan. Great, said Blurtso, I’ll see if he’s interested.
“Weohryant University” (II)
What do you think, said Harlan, of the logo for our university?
Weohryant? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, pronounced “we-orient.” What does it mean? said Blurtso. It’s a word, said Harlan, made up of all the different letters in the question words “what, where, who, how, when, why”, and it’s also a combination of “we” (short for “west”) and “ohryant” (orient or “east”). And, said Blurtso, it combines U (you) and WE, which gives our university an inclusive feel. Exactly, said Harlan. What, said Blurtso, is that Roman numeral. That, said Harlan, can either be read as 967 (1000 – 33) or 33,000. Which is it? said Blurtso. It really doesn’t matter, said Harlan, as long as it expresses a sense of tradition and substance, but 33,000 B.C. is an approximate date for the beginning of written language on earth. I like it, said Blurtso, and the donkey looks attentive and energetic, while the elephant looks very professorial.
Get your official Weohryant sweatshirt at blurtsobarn
“Blurtso goes green” (VII)
Hello, said Renzo. Hello, said Blurtso. I saw you on TV, said Renzo. You did? said Blurtso. Yes, said Renzo, and I thought you might like some help. Some help? said Blurtso. Yes, said Renzo, getting your greenhouse under control… my friends and I could help you graze. Thank you, said Blurtso, that would be lovely.
“Blurtso goes green” (II)
What are you doing? said Harlan. I’m grazing, said Blurtso, I’ve got to get this grass under control. What about school? said Harlan. School will have to wait, said Blurtso. O.k., said Harlan, I’ll take notes for you… is there anything you need? No, said Blurtso, I’ve got plenty to eat, and the snow will quench my thirst. O.k., said Harlan, I’ll tell the professor why you’re absent. Thanks, said Blurtso.
Hello, said the professor. Hello, said Blurtso. Your roommate told me why you missed class, said the professor. I’m sorry, said Blurtso, but this greenhouse is my responsibility. Your responsibility? said the professor. Yes, said Blurtso, it was entrusted to me, and I’ve neglected it too long. I admire your sense of duty, said the professor, but your grade will suffer. That is a price, said Blurtso, I’m prepared to pay. On the other hand, said the professor, I might be able to give you service-learning credit. Service-learning credit? said Blurtso. Yes, said the professor, for doing something that benefits the community. How does this benefit the community? Your greenhouse, said the professor, could be a model for self-sustainability in Cambridge. A model? said Blurtso. Yes, said the professor, but you’d have to be willing to talk to people about what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. I’m doing it, said Blurtso, because I waited too long, and I can’t wait any longer. Exactly, said the professor.