If I can’t voluntarily stop myself
from acting voluntarily,
I’m not acting voluntarily.
Tag: funny
“Blurtso considers the importance of Valentine’s Day”
Today is Valentine’s Day… I suppose a lot of couples are celebrating, and a lot of singles are not. Some have been reminded of how fortunate they are, and others how unfortunate. But most importantly of all, the stores have sold truckloads of candy.
“Blurtso hears a whisper” (VII)
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Are you awake? Yes, said Harlan. What are you thinking about? said Blurtso. Differences, said Harlan. Differences? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, political, religious, and personal differences… like what one person thinks is fun and another does not, and what one thinks is proper and another does not, and what one thinks is necessary and another does not. Yes, said Blurtso, it’s amazing we ever get along. I suppose, said Harlan, that’s what love is for.
“Blurtso hears a whisper” (VI)
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Are you awake? Yes, said Harlan. What are you thinking about? Mortality, said Harlan. Mortality? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, do you believe in reincarnation? I’m not sure, said Blurtso, what’s reincarnation? That’s when your soul comes back as a different animal. After you die? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, if you live a good life you come back as a higher one, and if you live a bad life you come back as a lower one. A lower animal? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. Like a human? said Blurtso.
“Blurtso considers teaching”
I’ll teach you what I know, and by teaching,
learn what you know.
“Blurtso goes for a swim”
Wow, thought Blurtso, that first lap is a doozy.
“Blurtso hears a whisper” (V)
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Are you awake? Yes, said Harlan. What are you thinking of? Einstein’s theory of time, said Harlan. What? said Blurtso. You know, said Harlan, the discovery that time passes more slowly the faster you move. Is that true? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. So I would live longer, said Blurtso, if I moved more quickly? Yes, said Harlan. And if I ran in my sleep, said Blurtso, I would get more sleep?
“Blurtso thinks about the future”
I wonder what I should be when I grow up? I can’t be a student forever. Unless I go to grad school. But grad students look terrible. They have rings under their eyes like they’ve been living in a cave. I guess they’re worried about their grades. And when they graduate they worry about getting a job. And when they get a job they worry about getting promoted. And when they get promoted they worry about retirement. All because they can’t eat grass.
“Blurtso hears a whisper” (IV)
Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Why are elephants afraid of mice? We’re not afraid, said Harlan, we just don’t like to step on them. Oh, said Blurtso, that’s understandable. There’s nothing that breaks an elephant’s heart, said Harlan, like stepping on a mouse. Elephants are very sensitive, said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan.
“Blurtso looks at the snow” (X)
The cars are actually trying to drive in this snow. They’ve got their lights on and their wiper-blades slapping. It’s eerie to drive in snow like this. Especially if your radio is broken and all you can hear is the thump of the blades. I wonder if it’s snowing this hard on campus? I wonder if the students are looking out the windows? A good snowfall can really put things in perspective.