Is it possible, said Virginia, to become a sound?
What? said Ditto. I was lost in the melody of your voice.
Tag: funny
“Blurtso looks at the grass” (II)
If a single blade of grass exists only as a part of the pattern called grass, and the pattern called grass exists only as a part of the pattern called the world, and the pattern called the world exists only as a part of the pattern called the universe, then everything that exists exists only as pattern, and it is impossible to speak of grass, or pumpkin pies, or “Blurtso”, without speaking of the universe.
“Blurtso thinks about grass” (I)
An individual blade of grass is inconceivable. It only exists as the pattern of relationships—seed, soil, roots, water, sun—called grass. An individual donkey is also inconceivable.
“Blurtso gets honked off the road”
Honk!… Honk!… Honk!…
Get off the f!@#%!g road you stupid donkey!
Hmmm, thought Blurtso, that person is sure in a hurry.
He must be out of pumpkin pie.
“Blurtso listens to the birds” (II)
The chickadees are in full throat today, said Blurtso. No, said Pablo, those are blackbirds you hear. Really? said Blurtso. Well… how about that one… now that was a chickadee! No, said Pablo, that was a kingfisher. Really, said Blurtso, a kingfisher? Wow… it sure sounded like a chickadee… hold it… hold it…how about that one… now that was a chickadee! No, said Pablo, that was a red-tailed hawk. A red-tailed hawk? said Blurtso. Hmm, he must have been imitating a chickadee… hold it… hold it… how about that one! That was the most unmistakable chickadee I’ve ever heard! No, said Pablo, that was a duck. Remarkable, said Blurtso. What about that, was that a kingfisher? No, said Pablo. A blackbird? No, said Pablo. A red-tailed hawk? No, said Pablo. A duck? No, said Pablo. A chickadee? No, said Pablo. I give up, said Blurtso, what was it? That, said Pablo, was my stomach growling.
“Blurtso pays it forward”
I have spent my life eating things that are alive or were once alive. I sure hope whatever I become food for… enjoys eating me as much as I have enjoyed eating.
“Blurtso considers the elimination of humans”
Why do humans, said Blurtso, interfere with nature? Humans, said Pablo, are creatures of nature, and as creatures of nature they inevitably act naturally, so their conscious interference in nature must be working in the interests of nature, even if that interference turns out to be nature’s way of eliminating humans.
“Blurtso listens to the birds” (I)
The birds are nice, said Blurtso, they sound very happy. Yes, said Bonny, Pablo can identify all of them by their songs. Really, said Blurtso, what was that one? That was a chickadee, said Pablo. And that one? said Blurtso. That was another chickadee. How about that one? said Blurtso. That was the same chickadee you heard the first time, said Pablo. Wow, said Blurtso, that’s amazing.
“Blurtso finds a dead bird”
Hmm, thought Blurtso, a dead bird. You don’t see many dead birds. I wonder why not? With so many birds in the trees you’d expect the ground to be covered with them, like leaves in autumn.
“Blurtso plays chess”
Have you ever played chess? said Alex. No, said Blurtso, I don’t even know the pieces. That’s alright, said Alex, I can teach you… this is the king, and the queen, and the bishop, and the horse, and the castle. Oh, said Blurtso, and the little ones are the donkeys?