I forgot to water my pumpkins this morning, thought Pablo, I wonder what the temperature is today?
The zoo is open until dusk, thought Harlan, and the elephant cage is right by the entrance.
I wonder, thought Ditto, if Dustin Pedroia ever played rightfield?
Ditto’s birthday is tomorrow, thought Bonny, I hope the Dustin Pedroia jersey isn’t too small.
The team is really focused today, thought Alex, the championship is as good as won.
Great game! said Alex. We’re 9-2. Only a game out of first!
We should play stickball tomorrow, said Alex. Stickball? said Blurtso. Stickball, said Harlan, is the street version of baseball. Yes, said Alex, some of the greatest players in history played stickball… they say Willie Mays was a 4-sewer hitter. A 4-sewer hitter? said Blurtso. Yes, said Alex, he could hit the ball four sewer manholes from the plate. Really? said Blurtso. Yes, said Alex. That’s remarkable, said Blurtso. Yes, said Alex. What’s a manhole? said Blurtso.
“Have you ever had a heated exchange on twitter?” said Don.
“No,” said Jerry, “not to my knowledge.”
Wow, said Blurtso, another season! Yes, said Harlan. I heard someone say, said Blurtso, that baseball is in trouble. In trouble? said Harlan. Yes, said Blurtso, he said the game has become too slow. The game hasn’t become too slow, said Harlan. It hasn’t? said Blurtso. No, said Harlan, the rest of the world has become too fast.
With all this snow, said Blurtso, I don’t think I’m getting enough exercise. Maybe you should do some tai chi, said Harlan. Could you teach me? said Blurtso. Sure, said Harlan.
We’ll begin with a simple circling exercise, said Harlan.
A little less like an airplane propeller, said Harlan, more slowly, and more side to side.
I’ve opened and closed the latch on this barn door every day for three years, said Blurtso, and I can’t remember what it looks like… I couldn’t begin to describe it, or describe a thousand other things I’ve used again and again and again. Yes, said Harlan, that’s the way it is, we stumble blindly along, and then one day we’re gone and only the forgotten things remain.
Wow, said Harlan, the greenhouse looks great! Yes, said Blurtso, there’s nothing like having friends. What will you do now? I’m thinking of starting a Co-op.
This is Suzy Starlight with CCTV – Cambridge Community Television – reporting live from the greenhouse at 2010 Clippety Clop Way, where the Harvard co-ed, Blurtso Lundif, is taking a stand for responsible living. Tell us if you would, Mr. Lundif, when did you first decide something had to be done? Yesterday, said Blurtso. And what is it you hope to do? I hope, said Blurtso, to graze on the grass that has grown amok, so that all plants can have their fair share of sun and sustenance. Their fair share? said Suzy. Yes, said Blurtso, and live in an environment of conscientious moderation. Conscientious moderation? said Suzy. Yes, said Blurtso. And how long, said Suzy, are you prepared to work towards that end? As long as it takes, said Blurtso. And you will remain in your greenhouse for the duration of the project? Yes, said Blurtso. How very admirable, said Suzy. Is there anything you would like to say to our viewing audience before we break away? Yes, said Blurtso. And what is that? said Suzy. Do you have a pumpkin pie? said Blurtso.
It’s like a sauna today, said Harlan. Yes it is, said Blurtso. I’ll bet it’s unbearably hot in here in the summer, said Harlan. In the summer, said Blurtso, Pablo opens the door and the windows in the roof. Too bad, said Harlan, we can’t do that with the earth. What do you mean? said Blurtso. You know, said Harlan, global warming and the greenhouse effect. What? said Blurtso. The heating of the earth’s atmosphere due to fossil fuels and deforestation. Is that bad? said Blurtso. Disastrous, said Harlan. Why? said Blurtso. Because, said Harlan, it leads to extreme weather, rising sea levels, ocean acidification, and the extinction of species. Which species? said Blurtso. Many species, said Harlan, penguins, seals, turtles, flamingos, salmon, clownfish, koala bears, polar bears. Polar bears? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. I like polar bears, said Blurtso. So do I, said Harlan. We should do something, said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, we should.