Who would like to solve this equation? asked the professor when he had finished filling the chalkboard with numbers, letters, and symbols. How about you in the front row, the one with the boxing-glove nose…
Category: Boston and Cambridge and Concord
“Blurtso attends his favorite class”
Welcome, said the professor, to Animal Husbandry 101.
“Weohryant University” (X)
The texts, said Bonny, that you will read this semester are: The Upanishads, The Bhagavad Gita, The Ramayana, The Mahabharata, The Epic of Gilgamesh, The Bible, The Tao Te Ching, The Writings of Confucius, The Emerald Tablet, and The Quran. Feel free to read them in any order you choose, and don’t hesitate to ask questions.
“Weohryant University” (IX)
Teaching is a tremendous responsibility, said Blurtso. Yes it is, said Harlan. What if I’m no good at it? said Blurtso. You’ll be fine, said Harlan. What if my students ask questions I can’t answer? Then tell them you don’t know, said Harlan. Can I do that? said Blurtso. Of course, said Harlan. I thought a teacher was supposed to know all the answers, said Blurtso. No, said Harlan, a teacher is supposed to know the questions. The questions? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, the questions are more important than the answers. They are? said Blurtso. Certainly, said Harlan. Why? said Blurtso. Because many questions, said Harlan, have many answers, and others have no answer at all. So all I have to do is ask questions? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. What kind of questions? Good questions, said Harlan, questions that make your students consider things they’ve never considered. How do I do that? said Blurtso. It’s easy, said Harlan, just do what you’re doing right now. What I’m doing right now? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, asking questions.
“Weohryant University” (VIII)
Welcome, said Harlan, to the “Class of 2020” first-year orientation at Weohryant University. It is my pleasure to introduce the Weohryant faculty who will be facilitating your education for the next four years. To my left is the co-founder of our college, Dr. Blurtso Lundif. Mr. Lundif will be teaching What-101 every Monday in his barn from noon until dusk. To my right is Ms. Bonny Bray. Bonny will be your guide through the “Masterpieces of World Literature” reading list. She will be available on Thursdays during the day, and will serve home-made pumpkin pie that same evening here in the main house. To Bonny’s right is Pablo the Gardener. Mr. Gardener will be teaching When-101 on Tuesdays from sunrise until noon at the Clippety Clop Animal Refuge and Co-Op. And I, said Harlan, am Dr. Harlan de Borneo. I will be guiding your journey through Where-101 every Wednesday on the Boston Common from sometime after breakfast until sometime before lunch. Finally, my colleagues and I would like to wish you all a hearty welcome to the maiden voyage of Weohryant University, and congratulate you for being selected as the inaugural class of this revered institution.
“Blurtso takes to math like whipped cream to pumpkin pie”
O.k., said the professor, let’s try number three. Two trucks, each filled with pumpkin pies, are going to the Whipped Cream Factory. The first truck leaves fifteen minutes before the second truck and drives at a speed of forty-five miles per hour. The second truck drives at fifty-five miles per hour. There is a donkey in the back of each truck. The donkey in the first truck can eat seventeen pumpkin pies in an hour, and the donkey in the second truck can eat twenty-one pies in an hour…
There are three bridges, the first at five miles, the second at ten, and the third at fifteen. Both trucks can travel only twenty miles per hour on the bridges. Each bridge is a quarter mile long. O.k., the question is… at the moment when the second truck overtakes the first, which donkey will have eaten more pumpkin pie? Who would like to give this a shot?… How about you in the front row, the one with the boxing-glove nose… Me? said Blurtso. Yes, said the professor, which donkey will have eaten more pumpkin pie? Neither, said Blurtso. Neither? said the professor. They will have both eaten the same. The same? said the professor. Yes, said Blurtso, each donkey will have eaten as much pumpkin pie as he could.
“Blurtso tries out for the Harvard marching band”
What an unusual interpretation of Chopin! said the band master.
“Blurtso considers the advantages of intelligence”
My goodness there are a lot of intelligent people at Harvard!
I wonder what it would be like to be intelligent?
I wonder if pumpkin pie tastes even better?
“Bonny and Ditto share some quality time” (IX)
For Paul Cézanne, a landscape was a collection of geometrical shapes.
Excellent! said Bonny.
“Weohryant University” (VII)
We had over three thousand applications to our university, said Harlan. Three thousand! said Blurtso, what will be the criteria for getting in? I think we should choose the first six, said Harlan. “First come, first serve,” said Blurtso, is an excellent criterion.
