From September 2017

“Blurtso smells a smell”


Holy stench! said Blurtso, stopping in his tracks and turning up his nose. I think I may have to chart a new course… Let’s see, if I multiply stench by the radius squared, divide circumference by the root of the hypotenuse and multiply it all by pi… Mmmm pumpkin pie, thought Blurtso, scampering off to where he could no longer smell the smell.

“Pablo does Pablomeo”


She brays!
Oh, bray again, bright angel!

Pablómeo, Pablómeo,
wherefore art thou Pablómeo?

Pablómeo sayest thee?
By such a name am I not that what I am…
but wouldst Pablo become Pablómeo…
if such be thine demand…
pale past be gone, faint future damned…
for thee this present present,
that be that I am!

My rose, my sun, my Pablómeo…
my faithful heart that beats,
a burro that’s called a burro,
by another name smells as sweet…

“Blurtso gets lost in the corn” (II)


I think I’m walking in circles. I wonder if I’m walking in big circles or little circles? If I walk in bigger and bigger circles I should reach the edge of the field. I wonder what’s beyond the cornfield? I wonder if it’s a canefield? A canefield is taller than a cornfield. Even a giraffe wouldn’t walk into a canefield. A giraffe wouldn’t walk into a canefield or a cornfield, apparently. I should have turned back when I didn’t see the giraffes. Yes, that’s what I should have done, I should have followed the giraffes. Hey, what’s this? An opening in the corn! Oh boy! I can hardly wait to see what’s there! Hmmm, said Blurtso, would you look at that, a wide flat space. An empty space, without a single giraffe. That’s not good. I wonder what’s beyond this empty space? Probably another field. Blurtso looked at the field from which he had emerged, then he looked at the space. I guess if I walk along the edge of the corn I will get to where I went in. I wonder what time it is? The shadows of the corn are as long as my nose, so it must be before noon. Did I enter from the east or from the west? I think the east. Let’s see, if the time is before noon and my shadow is to the right, I must be walking south. Maybe the entrance is to the south. Unless I’m walking away from the entrance…


And so he went, walking and worrying, figuring and fretting, gladdening and saddening, until he eventually reached the entrance to the corn. The entrance! he said. Or is this the exit? Just then, Blurtso heard a rustle in the corn.


What’s that?! A giraffe! A penguin! A pterodactyl! Oh my goodness! An enormous boxing-glove nose! Hello, said Pablo, emerging from the corn. A happier donkey at the entrance of a cornfield the world has never seen. How did you find the entrance? said Blurtso. Simple, said Pablo, I followed the giraffes. Did you see any pterodactyls? said Blurtso. Of course not, said Pablo, Nebraska is only six thousand years old.

“Blurtso gets lost in the corn” (I)


Wow, said Blurtso, the corn in Pablo’s garden has really grown. I wonder how far it goes? I wonder if it goes all the way to Nebraska? I’ve never been to Nebraska, but I’ve seen a lot of corn. The people in Nebraska must be happy with their corn.


I wonder if I should move to Nebraska? I wonder how many cornfields it is from here to Nebraska? Maybe it’s many cornfields away or maybe it’s just one big cornfield. I would be very happy if it’s only a cornfield away. I can hardly wait to get to Nebraska. This corn is very tall. Only a giraffe could see over this corn. I wonder if there are many giraffes in Nebraska. I hope so. I would love to see a cornfield full of giraffes. And penguins. I would love to see a cornfield full of giraffes and penguins and maybe even a pterodactyl. Wouldn’t that be something, giraffes, penguins, and pterodactyls. I can hardly wait to get to Nebraska. Wow, I’ve been walking a long time. Nebraska is farther than I thought. I wonder if I’m getting close? I wonder if I already passed it? I wonder if I passed it and am now walking away? I wish I could see above the corn. I haven’t found a single giraffe.

“Blurtso considers nature and nurture”


What are you taking this semester? said Alex. I’m taking a class called, “Nature or Nurture,” said Blurtso. Of course, said Alex, the debate over the effect of heredity versus environment on personal development. Really? said Blurtso, I thought it was a spelling class.