Tag: funny

August 9, 2016

“Blurtso, Alex, and Harlan look at the clouds” (II)

It’s Aristotle lecturing in the Lyceum, said Alex.
It’s a dog watering a tree, said Blurtso.
It’s an elephant, said Harlan.

August 8, 2016

“Blurtso designs his own lexicon”

Curse these clumsy hoofs! said Blurtso. You mean “hooves,” said Pablo. “Hooves?” said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo. Hmmm, said Blurtso, you may be right. Let me give it a try… “Curse these clumsy hooves!” I don’t know, said Blurtso, I think “hoofs” sounds more clumsy than “hooves.” You mean “clumsier,” said Pablo. “Clumsier?” said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo. I don’t know, said Blurtso, I think “more clumsy” sounds more clumsy than “clumsier.”

July 29, 2016

“Blurtso, Alex, and Harlan look at the clouds” (I)

It’s the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, said Alex.
It’s a fish taco, said Blurtso.
It’s an elephant, said Harlan.

July 28, 2016

“Blurtso and Alex look at the clouds” (I)

Hey, said Alex, would you look at that. What? said Blurtso. That cloud, said Alex, it looks like a human. Where? said Blurtso. There, said Alex, can’t you see? That’s its head, and those are its eyes, and that’s its television, and that’s its boat, and its ATV trailer, and its four-car garage. Of course, said Blurtso, and what’s the dark cloud next to it? That? said Alex. That’s a credit card bill.

May 30, 2016

“Blurtso finds a cave”

Hey, what’s this?

I wonder where it leads?

Maybe it leads to the center of the earth…

…and maybe I’ll learn something I could never learn
in the light of day, something without words
and without appearance….

something… that embraces and erases…

… me

May 29, 2016

“Blurtso tries to help”

A metal saw? I could bake one in a pumpkin pie…

May 27, 2016

“Blurtso considers the end of an empire”

Maybe this is what killed the Egyptians.

May 26, 2016

“Blurtso sees a sign”

May 25, 2016

“Blurtso learns a lesson”

Look at all that hay! I wonder if I can fit through the fence?

Oh, oh, my ears won’t go back… and I’m too fat to go forward.

I guess I’ll just have to stay here. Hmm… I can’t even reach the hay. That’s all right. I wasn’t hungry in the first place. I just wanted to stuff myself. I wonder how long I’ll be here? Someone is bound to come along. Someone with a super-modern high-tech donkey-saving tool. I don’t know why I wanted that hay, I wasn’t even hungry. But I’ll be hungry tomorrow. Then I’ll want that hay. But all I’ll have is the grass in front of me. I’d better be careful. I don’t want to eat it all. I’ve got to save enough grass for the next day, and the day after that. And I’ve got to leave enough on top so the roots don’t burn. Fortunately I’ve got a puddle of water, so I won’t die of thirst. Unless I have gas. I’ve heard that methane contributes to global warming, and if the temperature rises, the water will evaporate and the grass will burn. All because I wanted to stuff myself. And I wasn’t even hungry.

And so the days passed—night after day and day after night—and Blurtso tended his garden, eating only what was necessary to maintain his strength, and drinking only enough to slake his thirst. And from time to time it rained, and his puddle filled and his grass grew. And every day he looked at the hay, drying, splitting, and losing its fragrance, until one day when he was enjoying his morning snack… he slipped through the fence.