Off I go, said Blurtso, thinking he was going some place. And off he went, traipsing across the field on his way to where he was going, coming from where he had been. This will really be something, thought Blurtso, when I get to where I’m going. It will surely be worth the effort it will take to get there. There will be so many things where I’m going that aren’t like the things from where I’m coming. And on he went, hoof after hoof after hoof, and hoof after hoof after hoof. The sun was shining, then the sun was setting, then the moon was rising, then the moon was setting, and on he went. I’ve got to keep going until I get there, he thought, when his stumpy little legs grew weary. And on he went, hoof after hoof after hoof, and hoof after hoof after hoof. Whew, thought Blurtso, I must be coming closer if I keep on going farther. And on he went, farther and farther, and closer and closer, and farther and farther, and closer and closer. When he could go no farther, he stopped and looked back at the trail of where he had been, and forward at the trail of where he was going. Blurtso, he said to himself, you silly ass, you’ll never get to where you’re going, nor back to where you’ve been, for you’re always at the beginning of where you’re going, and at the end of where you’ve been.
Category: Journeys
“Blurtso lets go”
Here I go! said Blurtso, looking down at what lay below him. Here I go! he said again, still looking at all the things that lay below. Blurtso’s boney little hooves clung tightly to the rocky spine on which he stood, and his pin-point eyes were bright and full of frenzy. Here I go! he said a little more quietly, and with much less conviction. Here I go! Here I go! Here I go! he repeated, and clung even more tightly to the spine that began to cut into his hooves and make them bleed. Here I go! he said more loudly, but with no conviction at all. Here… I… and off he went, slipping, sliding, and tumbling into the only future that awaited him.
“Blurtso gets caught in the rain”
Hmm… it’s starting to rain. I wonder if I should go into a shop. If I do I’ll probably miss my bus, and then I’ll have to wait for the next one. And if it keeps raining I’ll miss that one and have to wait for the next one, and the next one… hmm… and then it’ll get dark, and the shop will close, and they’ll throw me out after the last bus leaves, and I’ll have to spend the night in the rain, and in the dark… hmm… unless I hitch-hike, but no one will stop for a wet donkey, not with a new car, unless someone does, someone with an old car that smells worse than a wet donkey… hmm… or someone who doesn’t bathe, or has bad intentions, or has a rifle, or owns a forced-labor copper mine… and I’ll be donkey-napped and flown to the mine on a private jet smuggling contraband, and military secrets, and I’ll be forced to work in the mine day and night, living on coca leaves and betel nut… hmm… knowing that the future of the world lays in my hooves if I can only escape and steal back the secrets, and I’ll have to bribe the guards, or sneak away while they’re smoking, and slip into the hills and build a raft, and sail it to the sea where I’ll board a steamer… hmm… and I’ll cross the Atlantic, until the ship hits an ice burg and sinks, and I’ll climb into a lifeboat which I’ll sail through the wreckage pulling out survivors… hmm… and they’ll all be grateful, all except one, the one who is a guard from the mine and has been following me, and is going to kill me the minute we reach Greenland…
Hey… it stopped raining.
“Blurtso sings with friends”
Banana Pancakes – Jack Johnson
Blowing Away – Linda Ronstadt
Bookends – Paul Simon
America – Paul Simon
Brushfire Fairytales – Jack Johnson
Bubble Toes – Jack Johnson
Buckets of Rain – Bob Dylan
Don’ t Mess Around With Jim – Jim Croce
Fall Line – Jack Johnson
Feeling Groovy – Paul Simon
Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover – Paul Simon
Forever – Ben Harper
F- Stop Blues – Jack Johnson
Gone – Jack Johnson
Homeward Bound – Paul Simon
I’d Rather Hurt Myself – Roger Miller
Leaving On A Jet Plane – John Denver
I Know Where I’m Going – Traditional
Johnny I Hardly Knew Ye – Traditional
Kathy’s Song – Paul Simon
Landslide – Fleetwood Mac
My Own Two Hands – Ben Harper
No Other Way – Jack Johnson
Girl From The North Country – Bob Dylan
One More Cup Of Coffee – Bob Dylan
Posters – Jack Johnson
Sara – Bob Dylan
Scarborough Fair – Traditional
Shelter From The Storm – Bob Dylan
Shenandoah – Traditional
Tenderness – Paul Simon
The Least You Could Do – Ben Harper
Times Like These – Jack Johnson
Traffic In The Sky – Jack Johnson
We Had It All – B.W. Stevenson
Better Together – Jack Johnson
You Can Close Your Eyes – James Taylor
Your Loving Arms – Hank Williams
Song For The Asking – Paul Simon
Congratulations – Paul Simon
Sarah Maria – James Taylor
Believe In Your Dreams – Rudolph and Clarice
“Blurtso finds a cave”
“Blurtso tries to help”
“Blurtso considers the end of an empire”
“Blurtso sees a sign”
“Blurtso learns a lesson”
Look at all that hay! I wonder if I can fit through the fence?
Oh, oh, my ears won’t go back… and I’m too fat to go forward.
I guess I’ll just have to stay here. Hmm… I can’t even reach the hay. That’s all right. I wasn’t hungry in the first place. I just wanted to stuff myself. I wonder how long I’ll be here? Someone is bound to come along. Someone with a super-modern high-tech donkey-saving tool. I don’t know why I wanted that hay, I wasn’t even hungry. But I’ll be hungry tomorrow. Then I’ll want that hay. But all I’ll have is the grass in front of me. I’d better be careful. I don’t want to eat it all. I’ve got to save enough grass for the next day, and the day after that. And I’ve got to leave enough on top so the roots don’t burn. Fortunately I’ve got a puddle of water, so I won’t die of thirst. Unless I have gas. I’ve heard that methane contributes to global warming, and if the temperature rises, the water will evaporate and the grass will burn. All because I wanted to stuff myself. And I wasn’t even hungry.
And so the days passed—night after day and day after night—and Blurtso tended his garden, eating only what was necessary to maintain his strength, and drinking only enough to slake his thirst. And from time to time it rained, and his puddle filled and his grass grew. And every day he looked at the hay, drying, splitting, and losing its fragrance, until one day when he was enjoying his morning snack… he slipped through the fence.
Hey! I’m skinny enough to get through! And to get out!
Hmm…