Most points of view… are too pointed.
Category: Fame and ambition
“Blurtso misses the revolution”
What did you think of today’s lecture, said Alex, about the seeds of revolution being inherent in the Capitalistic system? I’m not sure, said Blurtso, I must have missed that part. I was looking at a whippoorwill outside the window.
“Blurtso finds a marble”
What’s this? said Blurtso, pawing up a marble. Wow… an aggie! and here’s another… an opal, and a cat’s eye, and an oxblood, a turtle, a ruby, and a steely! Let’s play keepsies! he said, scattering the ducks in a circle he drew on the ground. If I could just knuckle down, he thought, pressing his hoof into the sand. O.k., here goes… bull’s eye! he said when his taw knocked a duck off the pond. Now I’ll go for that granddaddy… bingo! Now I’ll get that peawee… bang! Blurtso continued to shoot, striking one duck after another until the circle was clear. Hmmm, he said, feeling as empty as the empty circle, maybe I shouldn’t have won all the marbles.
“Blurtso agrees with Jack Johnson”
“Sometimes it feels like a heart
is no place to be singing from at all.”
“Blurtso considers Facebook”
I make you think of me, therefore I am.
“Weohryant University” (II)
What do you think, said Harlan, of the logo for our university?
Weohryant? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, pronounced “we-orient.” What does it mean? said Blurtso. It’s a word, said Harlan, made up of all the different letters in the question words “what, where, who, how, when, why”, and it’s also a combination of “we” (short for “west”) and “ohryant” (orient or “east”). And, said Blurtso, it combines U (you) and WE, which gives our university an inclusive feel. Exactly, said Harlan. What, said Blurtso, is that Roman numeral. That, said Harlan, can either be read as 967 (1000 – 33) or 33,000. Which is it? said Blurtso. It really doesn’t matter, said Harlan, as long as it expresses a sense of tradition and substance, but 33,000 B.C. is an approximate date for the beginning of written language on earth. I like it, said Blurtso, and the donkey looks attentive and energetic, while the elephant looks very professorial.
Get your official Weohryant sweatshirt at blurtsobarn
“Blurtso counts to three”
O.k., said Blurtso, on three. One, two, three… go!
And off they went as fast as they could.
What do you know, thought Blurtso, Pavlov was right.
“Blurtso meets the devil at the trombone store”
Hello, said the devil. Hello, said Blurtso. I see you’ve come to buy a trombone. Have I? said Blurtso. You must have, said the devil. I don’t think I need a trombone, said Blurtso. You don’t? said the devil. I already have two, said Blurtso. Two trombones! said the devil, you must be very happy! Yes, said Blurtso, I am. Do you want to give me one of your trombones? Absolutely not, said Blurtso. You are happier with two trombones instead of one? said the devil. Yes, said Blurtso, I’m fond of my trombones. Well, said the devil, if you are happier with two instead of one, it stands to reason that you would be happier with three instead of two. Yes, said Blurtso, that stands to reason. And if three makes you happier than two, four would make you happier than three. Four trombones? said Blurtso. Absolutely, said the devil, and five and six. I’m not sure, said Blurtso, there must be a point of diminishing trombones. Diminishing trombones? said the devil. When more becomes less, said Blurtso. More becomes less? said the devil, that makes no sense. I suppose it doesn’t, said Blurtso, admiring a trombone out of the corner of his eye.
“Blurtso and Alex look at the clouds” (I)
Hey, said Alex, would you look at that. What? said Blurtso. That cloud, said Alex, it looks like a human. Where? said Blurtso. There, said Alex, can’t you see? That’s its head, and those are its eyes, and that’s its television, and that’s its boat, and its ATV trailer, and its four-car garage. Of course, said Blurtso, and what’s the dark cloud next to it? That? said Alex. That’s a credit card bill.
“Blurtso considers the consequences of fame”
I wonder if I will like being famous? thought Blurtso. When the world is filled with Blurtso t-shirts and coffee mugs, Blurtso paintings and sculptures and smiling Blurtsos cast in bronze, Blurtso billboards and displays, neon and virtual and Christmas and Easter Blurtsos, and spin-off Blurtsos ad nauseum… I wonder if I will remember these days with nostalgia, when a simple donkey could have a simple meal, and take a nap in the comfort of perfect anonymity.