Welcome, said Harlan, to the “Class of 2020” first-year orientation at Weohryant University. It is my pleasure to introduce the Weohryant faculty who will be facilitating your education for the next four years. To my left is the co-founder of our college, Dr. Blurtso Lundif. Mr. Lundif will be teaching What-101 every Monday in his barn from noon until dusk. To my right is Ms. Bonny Bray. Bonny will be your guide through the “Masterpieces of World Literature” reading list. She will be available on Thursdays during the day, and will serve home-made pumpkin pie that same evening here in the main house. To Bonny’s right is Pablo the Gardener. Mr. Gardener will be teaching When-101 on Tuesdays from sunrise until noon at the Clippety Clop Animal Refuge and Co-Op. And I, said Harlan, am Dr. Harlan de Borneo. I will be guiding your journey through Where-101 every Wednesday on the Boston Common from sometime after breakfast until sometime before lunch. Finally, my colleagues and I would like to wish you all a hearty welcome to the maiden voyage of Weohryant University, and congratulate you for being selected as the inaugural class of this revered institution.