This is Suzy Starlight with CCTV – Cambridge Community Television – reporting live from the greenhouse at 2010 Clippety Clop Way, where the Harvard co-ed, Blurtso Lundif, is taking a stand for responsible living. Tell us if you would, Mr. Lundif, when did you first decide something had to be done? Yesterday, said Blurtso. And what is it you hope to do? I hope, said Blurtso, to graze on the grass that has grown amok, so that all plants can have their fair share of sun and sustenance. Their fair share? said Suzy. Yes, said Blurtso, and live in an environment of conscientious moderation. Conscientious moderation? said Suzy. Yes, said Blurtso. And how long, said Suzy, are you prepared to work towards that end? As long as it takes, said Blurtso. And you will remain in your greenhouse for the duration of the project? Yes, said Blurtso. How very admirable, said Suzy. Is there anything you would like to say to our viewing audience before we break away? Yes, said Blurtso. And what is that? said Suzy. Do you have a pumpkin pie? said Blurtso.
It’s like a sauna today, said Harlan. Yes it is, said Blurtso. I’ll bet it’s unbearably hot in here in the summer, said Harlan. In the summer, said Blurtso, Pablo opens the door and the windows in the roof. Too bad, said Harlan, we can’t do that with the earth. What do you mean? said Blurtso. You know, said Harlan, global warming and the greenhouse effect. What? said Blurtso. The heating of the earth’s atmosphere due to fossil fuels and deforestation. Is that bad? said Blurtso. Disastrous, said Harlan. Why? said Blurtso. Because, said Harlan, it leads to extreme weather, rising sea levels, ocean acidification, and the extinction of species. Which species? said Blurtso. Many species, said Harlan, penguins, seals, turtles, flamingos, salmon, clownfish, koala bears, polar bears. Polar bears? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. I like polar bears, said Blurtso. So do I, said Harlan. We should do something, said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, we should.
“Here comes another grey morning,
a not-so-good morning after all…
She says, ‘Well what am I to do today,
with too much time and so much sorrow…’
The clouds with their heads on the ground,
she’s gonna have to come down…
She said, ‘Move me, move me, I’m locked up inside,’
but I didn’t understand her, though God knows I tried…
She said, ‘Make me angry, or just make me cry,
but no more grey morning, I think I’d rather die.’”