I’m sorry, said the flight attendant, passengers are allowed only one carry-on trombone.

I’m sorry, said Blurtso, my ticket doesn’t have a seat number. It’s open seating, said the attendant. Open seating? said Blurtso. Yes, said the attendant, you can sit anywhere you like…

Excuse me, said the attendant, but you may have to check that… Hello, this is your captain speaking. It looks like we’re going to be delayed a few hours on the tarmac…

It’s a zoo in here!

I’m sorry, said the attendant, no electrical devices during takeoff.

Would you like something to drink? said the attendant. No thank you, said Blurtso, but I would like something to read. We have a variety of newspapers, said the attendant. Do you have the Farmer’s Almanac? said Blurtso.

Yes, said the attendant, did you change your mind about the drink? No, said Blurtso, but I’d like to exchange my peanuts for pumpkin seeds.

Yes, said Blurtso, the vegetarian meal is mine.

Hello, said the customs agent. Are you bringing any fruit into the country? Vegetables, plants, seeds, or insects? How about animals or wildlife products? Cell cultures? Snails? Soil? Have you been on a farm or in close proximity of livestock? Fruit? said Blurtso. No, I don’t have any fruit.