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“Blurtso feels good about his final exam” (III)

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Final Exam – Greek 201
Name: Blurtso

1.) Why did Oedipus kill his father and marry his mother?
Because his friend, Sigmund, told him to.
2.) Who is the goddess Aphrodite?
Aphrodite is the barnyard goddess who visits donkeys in the spring.
3.) What lessons can be learned from the “House of Atreus”?
Don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t contradict your wife, and always lock the bathroom door.
4.) Why did Zeus become a swan?
Because Leda didn’t like woodpeckers.
5.) Why did the Greeks go to war against Troy?
Because Paris stole Helen’s pumpkin pie.
6.) How did the Greeks win the battle of Troy?
They built an enormous donkey that scared away all the Trojan horses.
7.) Why was Athena considered the goddess of wisdom?
Because she had grey eyes, and grey is a sign of strength, beauty, and extraordinary intelligence.
8.) Why was Prometheus bound to a rock?
Because trees can catch fire.
9.) Who was Homer and what did he write?
Homer was a poet who wrote a story about a hero named Ysseus who was very odd.
10.) What is a lyre?
A lyre is an ancient, string instrument that was popular until the invention of the trombone.
11.) Explain “hubris”:
Hubris is the idea that “pride comes before the fall”—like when you think you’re going to get an “A”, and then you don’t.

“Blurtso speaks Greek” (II)

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Are you a student? said the professor. Yes, said Blurtso. What’s your major? I don’t have one, said Blurtso. Maybe you should take my class on Greek drama, said the professor. We’re going to stage “Oedipus Rex” in October, the quintessential story of blindness and self-discovery. Blindness and self-discovery, said Blurtso, isn’t that an oxymoron? Have you ever done any acting? said the professor. Yes, said Blurtso, I did some barnyard Shakespeare last year, but I ad libbed most of the dialogue. Well, said the professor, this will be a formal production, with a paying public, but the students in my class will be given walk-on roles. Hmm, said Blurtso, “Oedipus Rex.” Are there any elephants and ducks in the play?

“Blurtso and Harlan watch the Muppets”

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“We’re Marley and Marley… Oooooooooooooooooooooo…”

Do you think we could be Muppets? said Harlan. I don’t know, said Blurtso, they seem pretty talented. Yeah, said Harlan, even the fruit was singing. And the frog, said Blurtso, was doing long division.

“Blurtso finds a cave”

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Hey, what’s this?

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I wonder where it leads?

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Maybe it leads to the center of the earth…

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…and maybe I’ll learn something I could never learn
in the light of day, something without words
and without appearance….

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something… that embraces and erases…

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… me

“Blurtso fluffs his pillow”

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watch Blurtso fluff his pillows