I’m hungry, said Blurtso. What are you in the mood for?
For some reason, said Blurtso, I’m craving Chinese.
Hmm, thought Blurtso, would you look at that… a paperclip. I wonder how it got here? I’ve never seen Harlan use one, and I don’t think I ever have. It’s got a nice shape. I wonder who made it? Maybe it was a famous artist. I’ve never seen one in a gallery, so I guess collectors don’t call them art. I wonder how they decide? If I made a paperclip, I would call it art. It’s very symmetrical. And elegant. I wish I had some papers to clip. I suppose I could clip some hay…
Final Exam – Art 101
1.) Name three characteristics of ancient Greek and Roman sculpture:
Large noses, round bellies, and foreshortening of the limbs.
2.) Discuss the difference between Medieval and Renaissance art:
During the Renaissance donkeys rose to a new level of importance. There were praying donkeys in the cathedrals, reclining donkeys in the fountains, and braying donkeys in the streets. The greatest example of donkeycentrism is Michelangelo’s “The Blurtso.” Michelangelo also painted the Sistine Corral.
3.) What innovation was shared by both Impressionist and Expressionist
painters, and how was it used differently by the two groups?
Pumpkin pie. The Expressionists painted their canvases before eating pumpkin pie, and the Impressionists painted their canvases after.
4.) What is Cubism?
Cubism was a style of painting developed by Georges Braque and Pablo Picasso which portrayed objects as seen from all perspectives at once. Sort of like standing naked in a room of mirrors with half a newspaper and a broken guitar.
My store is open! said Blurtso.
I don’t know, said Pablo, you may need more flags.