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“Blurtso goes to Hollywood” (VIII)

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And the people gathered before him and said, “Blurtso of the sacred space, teach us.” And Blurtso replied, “Teach us?” And the people echoed, “Teach us.” And Blurtso replied, “Teach what?” And the people explained, “We do not love all who are among us. We do not love all others. And we are ashamed.” And Blurtso replied, “What will thou doest when thou seest a tempest in the offing?” And the people replied, “We shall seek shelter.” And Blurtso said, “And what will thou doest when thou encounterest danger in thine path?” And the people replied, “We shall pursue a new path.” And Blurtso said, “And what will thou doest when thine well of poison smellest?” And the people replied, “Drink we shall not.” And Blurtso said, “Just as with nature thou wouldst, so with one another thou shouldst. For each one of thou, in beingst thineself, is for some other a storm, a danger, or a poison. And another for thou shallst be these same things too. So feelest not ashamedst that thou revelst not in the company of all, but rather recognizest the right to existest of the poison, the danger, and the storm, and rejoicest in the natural wisdom that wouldst lead thou unto safety and keepest thou from harm.”

“Blurtso goes to Hollywood” (VII)

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Hello chicken, said Blurtso. Where did you come from…? You need a place to stay? Of course you can stay. My parking space is your parking space.

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Goodness! thought Blurtso. Look at all these chickens!

“Blurtso goes to Hollywood” (VI)

I’m sorry, said the policeman, but the city has made a ruling on your case. My case? said Blurtso. Yes, said the policeman. The city has decided you’ve got to put coins in the meter. Coins? said Blurtso. How am I going to get coins?

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“Blurtso goes to Hollywood” (V)

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Well, my garden is growing, but I haven’t seen Mister Ed. Maybe I can find him if I think like a horse… Let’s see… you can lead a horse to water….

… if there’s a mare on the beach.
… but he probably won’t snorkel.
… but you’ll have to bait his hook.
… if it’s next to a brewery.
… if it’s nowhere near MacDonald’s.
… if there’s a urinal nearby.
… if the Wi-Fi is free.
… until his wife gets home.

Hmmm… I’m not sure that helps.

“Blurtso goes to Hollywood” (IV)

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I wonder if I should search for Mister Ed? thought Blurtso. Where would I look? Sooner or later he’s bound to come by here. Maybe I should plant a garden? The grass is really growing with the additional fertilizer. What should I plant? Pumpkins, of course, and carrots, tomatoes, and corn… and maybe an apple tree. Yes, an apple tree would be splendid. I wonder what Mister Ed plants in his garden?

“Blurtso goes to Hollywood” (III)

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Ahhhh, thought Blurtso, drinking the water the sprinklers had left in the gutter. What a lovely morning! Let’s see… what shall I have for breakfast? The grass looks tasty. Mmmm, juicy and fresh, and a little bit spicey! Hello officer, said Blurtso when his friend walked by. Hello Blurtso, said the policeman. Have a nice day! said Blurtso. You too! said the officer. And as the day passed, Blurtso became more and more enamored of his space, chatting with the people, watching the cars, and enjoying the grass beneath his nose. This place has everything! thought Blurtso, settling down for the night. Fresh water, green grass, friendly people… and warm pavement to sleep on. No wonder people love California!