From Routine and conforming

“Blurtso doesn’t feel what he should”

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I guess I should be bored in this field, thought Blurtso. I guess I should be restless and anxious and troubled. I guess I should be worried about the things I’m missing, all the excitement taking place without me. I guess I should be depressed. I guess I should feel that standing in this field is the worst thing in the world. Yes, thought Blurtso, that’s what I should feel…

“Blurtso prepares his morning juice”

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Pablo told me juicing is great for your health… let’s see… five slices of pumpkin, four shakes of cinnamon, a pinch of nutmeg, a nub of ginger, a spoon of brown sugar, eight graham crackers, a stick of butter…

“Blurtso considers the elimination of humans”

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Why do humans, said Blurtso, interfere with nature? Humans, said Pablo, are creatures of nature, and as creatures of nature they inevitably act naturally, so their conscious interference in nature must be working in the interests of nature, even if that interference turns out to be nature’s way of eliminating humans.

“Blurtso makes his bucket list”

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Hmm… I guess bucket lists are only for people
who aren’t already doing what they want to do.

“Blurtso joins donkeymatch.com”

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Hey, a dating site! Maybe I should fill out a profile.

Name: Blurtso
Age: I don’t know, I’ve never cut myself in half to count the rings
Height: I’m not as tall as I think I am
Weight: That’s not polite
Self summary: I’m a sphere whose center is everywhere and circumference is nowhere

I’m good at: Filling out profile questionnaires

The first thing that others notice about me: That I accidentally stepped on their foot

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, food:

books: Remembrance of Pies Past (Marcel Proust), A clean, well-lighted bakery (Hemingway), Where is Ralph Waldo? (Emerson), What’s that in the Attic? (Emily Dickenson), Donkey Hotey (Cervantes), The Idiot’s Guide to Animal Husbandry

music: You can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd (Roger Miller), L’apres midi d’une Trombone (Debussy), Bach’s concerto for trombone and cymbal in C flat minor seventh, Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata for Seventy-Six Trombones

movies and shows: Babbling Brook (ambient dvd), Ocean Waves (ambient dvd), Mountain Majesty (ambient dvd), The Jerry Remy Postgame Show

food: organic, sustainably grown, local, free-range, alfalfa-fed pumpkins (from Pablo’s garden)

I spend a lot of time thinking about:
Thermonuclear physics, string theory, the event
horizon, if Pluto is a planet, how many angels can fit on the head of a donkey, what that smell is

On a typical Friday night I am:
Wondering what night of the week it is

You should message me if: You need an empty pie tin, you found my wristwatch, you lost your Wi-Fi connection, you have an extra pumpkin pie

Profile Photo:

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“Blurtso hears a whisper” (XI)

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Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Are you awake? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. What do you think about politics? said Blurtso. Politics? said Harlan. Yes, said Blurtso, all the corruption, manipulation, and self-serving contentiousness. I don’t think politics is any different than anything else, said Harlan. What do you mean? said Blurtso. I mean that everyone, said Harlan, does what is in their own best interest. Everyone? said Blurtso. Sure, said Harlan. But some people, said Blurtso, are more compassionate than others. Yes, said Harlan, that’s because they define themselves differently. What do you mean? said Blurtso. Some people have a very small definition of themselves, said Harlan, they think of themselves as a narrow, individual entity, and they act in a narrow, individual way. Others think of themselves as a family group—immediate or extended—and act for the benefit of the family. Others think of themselves as an ideological group—a nation or religion—and act in terms of that ideology. Others go beyond borders, and think of themselves as the entire human race, or the entire planet, and act in the self interest of all humans, or of all nature. But everyone is still acting in their own self interest, it’s just that some selves are bigger than others. Hmm, thought Blurtso, I wonder how big my self is?

“Blurtso considers his inner parakeet” (V)

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A donkey was pursued by two tigers, one from in front, one from behind. He also had a Chemistry exam the next day. “Is there any more pumpkin pie?” said the donkey.