From Fame and ambition

“Blurtso considers the elimination of humans”

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Why do humans, said Blurtso, interfere with nature? Humans, said Pablo, are creatures of nature, and as creatures of nature they inevitably act naturally, so their conscious interference in nature must be working in the interests of nature, even if that interference turns out to be nature’s way of eliminating humans.

“Blurtso makes his bucket list”

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Hmm… I guess bucket lists are only for people
who aren’t already doing what they want to do.

“Blurtso considers his inner parakeet” (V)

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A donkey was pursued by two tigers, one from in front, one from behind. He also had a Chemistry exam the next day. “Is there any more pumpkin pie?” said the donkey.

“Blurtso can’t get serious”

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Stay tuned for the News Hour and tonight’s roundtable debate, “Can black and white be considered colors, and if so, which one is more colorful?” moderated by Dr. Jonathan Wellborn Truington III, renowned taxidermist and Pulitzer prize-winning author of, Is White White or Is White the New Black?

I think humans, said Blurtso, take themselves too seriously.

“Blurtso hears a whisper” (IX)

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Harlan? said Blurtso. Yes? said Harlan. Do you miss Borneo? Yes, said Harlan. What do you miss most? I miss it all, said Harlan, the beauty, the peace, the danger, the poverty. You miss the poverty? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan. Wouldn’t it be nicer, said Blurtso, without the poverty? Not, said Harlan, if it just becomes a playground for the rich. Oh, said Blurtso. What do you think about international aid? I think it’s often misguided, said Harlan, and there’s nothing worse than convincing someone they need something that they didn’t need before.

“Blurtso thinks about the future”

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I wonder what I should be when I grow up? I can’t be a student forever. Unless I go to grad school. But grad students look terrible. They have rings under their eyes like they’ve been living in a cave. I guess they’re worried about their grades. And when they graduate they worry about getting a job. And when they get a job they worry about getting promoted. And when they get promoted they worry about retirement. All because they can’t eat grass.

“Blurtso meets the academic counselor”

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Hello, said Blurtso. Hello, said the counselor, have you decided on a major? No, said Blurtso. Well, said the counselor, maybe I can help. What do you like? I like everything, said Blurtso. Everything? said the counselor. You can’t major in everything. Why not? said Blurtso. Because you have to specialize. Why? said Blurtso. So you can graduate. Why do I have to graduate? So you can get a job. A job? said Blurtso. Yes, said the counselor, in your specialization. Hmm, said Blurtso. Can I avoid all that… if I major in logic?