From Dustin Pedroia

“Ditto goes to school” (XII)

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It’s a blustery, snow-swept day at Fenway… here’s the pitch, Jeter hits a scorcher to second… Dustin “Ditto” Pedroia glides into position… scoops… wheels… throws to first…

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“Ditto goes to school” (XI)

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Our stickball team played for the championship last year, said Ditto. Really? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, I was the starting rightfielder. Did Dustin Pedroia ever play rightfield? said Virginia. He must have when he was young, said Ditto, everyone begins in rightfield. Really? said Virginia. I thought the rightfielder was the worst player on the team. No, no, no, said Ditto, I led the league in on-base percent. Really? said Virginia. What was your batting average? I didn’t get any hits, said Ditto, but I had 86 walks and one out. Like Eddie Gaedel, said Virginia. Eddie Gaedel? said Ditto. Yes, said Virginia, the shortest man to ever play in the majors. He was three feet seven inches tall, came to bat once in 1951, and walked on four pitches. His lifetime on-base percentage is 1.000. Really? said Ditto. Three feet seven is the shortest ever? I think so, said Virginia. Hmm, said Ditto, I wonder if Dustin Pedroia lies about his height?

“Ditto goes to school” (X)

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Baseball? said Virginia. Yes, said Ditto, the Red Sox begin spring training in three weeks. I love the Red Sox! said Virginia. Who’s your favorite player? said Ditto. My favorite player, said Virginia, is Dustin Pedroia.

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“Blurtso announces the opening of his store”

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My store is open! said Blurtso.

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I don’t know, said Pablo, you may need more flags.

Visit Blurtso’s store at Blurtsobarn

“Blurtso renames a body part”

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Big Papi, said Harlan, has sure come back strong from his injury. His injury? said Blurtso. Yes, said Harlan, his Achilles. His Achilles? said Blurtso, I thought Achilles was the name of a Greek god. Yes, said Harlan, a Greek warrior, but it’s also the name of the tendon that connects the heel to the calf. Are there other parts of the body, said Blurtso, named after people? There’s the Adam’s apple, said Harlan. Hmmm, said Blurtso, why does Big Papi grab his Hercules before each pitch?

“Alex takes her friends to the street” (VIII)

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Two outs, bottom of the ninth, one strike from the championship… here’s the pitch… a swing… it’s a long flyball… the centerfielder leaps… she’s got it!… no… she drops it!… it’s headed to rightfield…

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The rightfielder has it it!… no… he drops it!… but here comes the centerfielder!…

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Break out the cocoa and pumpkin pies! We made a clean sweep of all the awards, said Pablo. Harlan won the homerun title, Alex won the golden hoof award, Bonny led the league in wins, I had the highest batting average, Ditto had the best on base percentage, and Blurtso hit into the most double plays.

        ab  h 2b 3b hr rbi r bb so hbp ba   obp   slg dp
Blurtso 89 11  0  0  1  4  6  0 51  0 .124 .124 0.157 26
Harlan  66 32  6  0 25 89 46 29 26  0 .484 .642 1.727 5
Alex    96 49  9 26  3 23 53  5  3  0 .510 .535 1.343 0
Ditto    1  0  0  0  0  6 52 86  1  7 .000 .989 0.000 0
Bonny   82 53  5  1  6 44 36 11  4  0 .646 .688 0.951 3
Pablo   75 56 24  6  9 77 50 18  0  0 .747 .796 1.587 2

       w l  ip  h bb so hr era
Bonny 10 2 102 123 4 71 17 9.63

“Alex takes her friends to the street” (VII)

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I forgot to water my pumpkins this morning, thought Pablo, I wonder what the temperature is today?

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The zoo is open until dusk, thought Harlan, and the elephant cage is right by the entrance.

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I wonder, thought Ditto, if Dustin Pedroia ever played rightfield?

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Ditto’s birthday is tomorrow, thought Bonny, I hope the Dustin Pedroia jersey isn’t too small.

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The team is really focused today, thought Alex, the championship is as good as won.

“Alex takes her friends to the street” (IV)

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Game seven, bottom of the ninth, three balls, two strikes, two outs, runners on second and third, Redsox up by a run… runners are off with the pitch… it’s a slow roller to Dustin “Ditto” Pedroia…

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“Alex takes her friends to the street” (III)

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What are you doing? said Pablo. I’m hitting some grounders, said Bonny, Ditto wants to become the next Dustin Pedroia.

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No, said Bonny, I didn’t know Dustin Pedroia won the gold glove at secondbase last year. Really? Twenty-one homeruns and twenty-six stolen bases? And ninety-one RBI’s? That’s a lot for a secondbaseman. No, I don’t think you’re taller than he is.