Hmm, thought Blurtso. My eyes are starting to blur… and my hoof is cramping… and my hind legs have fallen asleep… and… oh, no… I need to go to the bathroom!
You think so? said Blurtso. Silver highlights in my mane?
O.k., said the farmer, I’ll give you $10 an hour if you walk around my fields.
Doo dee doo dee doo, dee dee dee dee dee,
birdies in the trees, donkeys in the street.
I brought you a book, said Pablo. A book? said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo, Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. Oh boy! said Blurtso. A Cookbook!
These are the longest recipes I’ve ever seen!
Non-dancers, said Blurtso, don’t understand
the need to leave clothes on the floor.
“Blah, blah, blah,” said the schoolmarm, “blah, blah, blah, blah.” This lesson is so boring, thought Ditto. I wonder what the schoolmarm is saying? It’s hard to focus with that little piece of corn between her teeth. I wonder if she knows it’s there? I wonder what else she had for lunch? There’s a spot on the sleeve of her blouse… maybe she had a Salisbury steak with gravy… or a donut with chocolate icing… or maybe it’s blood… maybe she smashed a mosquito with her elbow… or leaned against a freshly painted barn… the spot matches the color of her shoes… I wonder if she ties her laces with a single loop or bunny ears through the rabbit hole… one of the laces is loose… and an ear has come undone… I haven’t seen many bunnies this spring… maybe I’ll see one on the way home… if I’m lucky… maybe I’ll see a bunny… or a turtle… or a giraffe…
Hmm, said the doctor, the cuff won’t fit around your front leg…
… that’s better.
Turn your head and bray…
Great news, you’re as strong as a horse. Really?! said Blurtso. A horse?! Yes, said the doctor. However, I’m concerned about your teeth. They’ve become an alarming, pumpkin-orange color.
I admire grass, thought Blurtso. It never gets discouraged. It keeps growing no matter how often they mow it down. And in a storm it just bends with the wind. It makes me happy to think… we are what we eat.
If I were you, said Blurtso, I’d walk right up to her and say,
“Keep your hands off my Häagen Dazs!”