Author: Alan Davison

Alan Davison is a professor of literature and language at Westminster College in Salt Lake City.

“Blurtso takes a siesta”

blurtso1058

I can hear Bonny and Pablo playing in the pool. They sure sound happy. You can’t blame them, you can swim right up to the bar. I’ll have to join them, as soon as I rest up from my siesta.

“Blurtso enjoys his palapa”

Wow, that was quite a night… I probably shouldn’t have danced on the table, or swung from the chandelier, but I was so happy when the Nachos arrived.

blurtso1071

I wonder if the sand is hot? It was warm four hours ago. The breeze is nice. It feels good on my ears. It’s hard to hear over the waves. I can see Pablo talking with the parasailing people, but I can’t hear a word he’s saying. I wonder if he’s going for a ride? I wonder if I should have another pumpkin-colada? The first one was excellent. And the second and third ones were even better. I wonder if I should call for the waiter? Wow! There goes Pablo! He’s really soaring! I hope he’s strapped in. I wonder what it’s like up there? I wonder if he can see me? I wonder if he can see the waiter? Maybe he can get the waiter’s attention. He seems to be waving his hooves quite wildly. He must be signaling the waiter. What a good friend. My pumpkin-colada will be here soon.

“Blurtso huffs and puffs”

Clippety clop, clippety clop, clippety clop went Blurtso on his happy little hoofs as he started up the hill. The stones in the road were rough and uneven, but Blurtso hardly noticed as he skipped along his way. Clippety clop, clippety clop, clippety… clop… clippety… clop… clippety… clippety… clop… clop… clop… clop… clop… as the hill grew steeper Blurtso could feel the pull in his haunches and the pull in his shoulders and the setting sun made an orange glow on the inside of his ears. Clop clop clop clop clop… whew! thought Blurtso as he looked at the darkening road in front of him. The uneven stones cast little shadows on the other uneven stones, and Blurtso cast a big shadow that made his legs look long and slender. When the sun was gone he saw a light up the hill.

As he made his way up the ever-steepening road he could no longer see the stones that clopped beneath him, and his hoofs became less audible with the pounding in his temples and chest, and the puffing that came from his lungs. When he reached the light he discovered it was the light of a store. He paused for a moment to catch his breath and let the breeze cool the sweat on his back and his sides, then he peeked in the door and saw a man drinking a drink, and another man sitting on a stool. Just then a mule clippety clopped to where Blurtso was standing and stopped to let its riders dismount. Burtso was astonished that the animal was not breathing hard and gave off no scent of sweat. The man and woman who were riding the mule went into the shop for a moment and could not be seen. Then Blurtso saw them at the counter with a bag of potatoes and the man on the stool rose to attend them. Blurtso heard their voices and there appeared to be a problem. The coins the couple had put on the counter were not sufficient to pay for the potatoes. There was a pause as the man and the woman and the shopkeeper stared at the coins on the table, then stared at the potatoes, then stared at the coins. They stood a long time until the man who had been drinking reached out and put more coins on the table. The figures that had been frozen broke into life and began to smile and chatter and nod to the stranger. Then the man and the woman took their potatoes and said good night to the shopkeeper, nodded to the stranger, and left the store. Blurtso felt the excitement of the couple as they stood next to him, tying their potatoes to the back of their mule, but instead of mounting the animal as Blurtso had expected, the couple stood and waited. When the man who had supplied the coins emerged from the shop the man and the woman who were waiting nodded to him and said, “Gracias.” The man smiled and nodded back, then started up the hill. The couple mounted their mule and started down the hill.

blurtso233

Blurtso waited until he could neither hear nor see the people nor the mule, and while he waited he looked at the lights of the town in the valley below.

“Blurtso feels good about his final exam” (III)

blurtso173

Final Exam – Greek 201
Name: Blurtso

1.) Why did Oedipus kill his father and marry his mother?
Because his friend, Sigmund, told him to.
2.) Who is the goddess Aphrodite?
Aphrodite is the barnyard goddess who visits donkeys in the spring.
3.) What lessons can be learned from the “House of Atreus”?
Don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t contradict your wife, and always lock the bathroom door.
4.) Why did Zeus become a swan?
Because Leda didn’t like woodpeckers.
5.) Why did the Greeks go to war against Troy?
Because Paris stole Helen’s pumpkin pie.
6.) How did the Greeks win the battle of Troy?
They built an enormous donkey that scared away all the Trojan horses.
7.) Why was Athena considered the goddess of wisdom?
Because she had grey eyes, and grey is a sign of strength, beauty, and extraordinary intelligence.
8.) Why was Prometheus bound to a rock?
Because trees can catch fire.
9.) Who was Homer and what did he write?
Homer was a poet who wrote a story about a hero named Ysseus who was very odd.
10.) What is a lyre?
A lyre is an ancient, string instrument that was popular until the invention of the trombone.
11.) Explain “hubris”:
Hubris is the idea that “pride comes before the fall”—like when you think you’re going to get an “A”, and then you don’t.