Month: August 2016

“Blurtso designs his own lexicon”

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Curse these clumsy hoofs! said Blurtso. You mean “hooves,” said Pablo. “Hooves?” said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo. Hmmm, said Blurtso, you may be right. Let me give it a try… “Curse these clumsy hooves!” I don’t know, said Blurtso, I think “hoofs” sounds more clumsy than “hooves.” You mean “clumsier,” said Pablo. “Clumsier?” said Blurtso. Yes, said Pablo. I don’t know, said Blurtso, I think “more clumsy” sounds more clumsy than “clumsier.”

“Blurtso crosses a field”

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What a lovely day, thought Blurtso, skipping across the field. Excuse me, said a voice, but you’ll have to carry a load if you want to continue. As you wish, said Blurtso, bending to accept his load and walking across the field. I’m sorry, said the voice, but you’ll have to carry another. And so I shall, said Blurtso, crouching to accept his load and trudging across the field. And another, said the voice. If I must, said Blurtso, kneeling to accept his load and crawling across the field. And another, said the voice. Whew! thought Blurtso, when he could no longer see the day or the field or himself. I hope it is all still waiting there, when I emerge from this burden that has become myself.

“Blurtso counts to three”

O.k., said Blurtso, on three. One, two, three… go!
And off they went as fast as they could.

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What do you know, thought Blurtso, Pavlov was right.

“Blurtso meets the devil at the trombone store”

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Hello, said the devil. Hello, said Blurtso. I see you’ve come to buy a trombone. Have I? said Blurtso. You must have, said the devil. I don’t think I need a trombone, said Blurtso. You don’t? said the devil. I already have two, said Blurtso. Two trombones! said the devil, you must be very happy! Yes, said Blurtso, I am. Do you want to give me one of your trombones? Absolutely not, said Blurtso. You are happier with two trombones instead of one? said the devil. Yes, said Blurtso, I’m fond of my trombones. Well, said the devil, if you are happier with two instead of one, it stands to reason that you would be happier with three instead of two. Yes, said Blurtso, that stands to reason. And if three makes you happier than two, four would make you happier than three. Four trombones? said Blurtso. Absolutely, said the devil, and five and six. I’m not sure, said Blurtso, there must be a point of diminishing trombones. Diminishing trombones? said the devil. When more becomes less, said Blurtso. More becomes less? said the devil, that makes no sense. I suppose it doesn’t, said Blurtso, admiring a trombone out of the corner of his eye.